Summer Camp Chic

Friends, I have not posted in many a moon. My apologies. I have broken my hiatus to tell you of my summer time obsessions, all of which revolve around the basics of summer camp. I was a camp fanatic, attending the lovely CYO Camp Howard from age 8 to 14. Every summer since my last camp experience I have missed being in the woods with a bunch of friends playing capture the flag and drinking bug juice all day, and therefore I try to bring the essentials of camp into regular summertime living:

1. Shower less. This is essential. You must have achieve the perfect scent of sunscreen, chlorine/lake water, and Clinique Happy as much as your day job will allow. And you'll be amazed at what you can get done in the ten extra minutes in your day if you eliminate showering (I'm not advertising to shower only once a week, but like, get it down to 3 or 4 times).
2. Engage in water activities. Wear out a swim suit. Plus, if you're following rule#1, it's really necessary to be in the water more, ya know? If you're in a chlorinated pool, rinsing off is permissable and not considered part of your 3-4 showers/week.
3. Devote yourself to perfecting an art/craft. My art/craft of choice is the ever-popular friendship bracelet. I'm an excellent braider. Potlatches, boondoggles, crayon-wax candles, dream catchers, and stamped leather keychains are other excellent options.
4. Share a book among friends. I mean this quite literally: buy a popular book-of-the-moment and share the single copy among a few friends. Make sure it gets kinda ragged and dodgy by the end of summer. Bonus points for sun-faded jacket covers and water marks.
5. Make new friends (but keep the old...silver, gold, etc.)
6. Go to karaoke; this fulfills the singing around a campfire requirement of camp
7. Practice an outdoor physical activity at least once a day; running, adult league kickball, biking, soccer, swimming (my preference, see point #2). You'll get a sexy lean bod and a deep tan!
8. Do your nails once a week. Weird colors only. What other season can you get away with neon orange? None! So take advantage!
9. Have sleepovers with friends. Non-negotiable. You need to have so many sleepovers that you get sick of your friends but then when you part ways the next day feel a sucking black hole of loss. Or, you know, something less middle-school intense.
10. Try to turn off the tv, shut down the computer, and put the iphone on silent. Technology was contraband at camp for two reasons: it's expensive and if you break it your parents will be pissed and might sue, and it interferes with friend-bonding and nature-loving. It does!
11. Take lots of pictures. These memories are precious, campers!
12. Do something scandalous. At camp it was sneaking from the girls' section to the boys' section or stealing extra desserts and eating them after lights out. Translate these activities to adult terms.
13. Become adventerous. This is akin to the above suggestion. At camp you'd run around in the woods during capture the flag, or go on an all day hike, or ask that special someone to dance at the End of Summer Social. Go out of your comfort zone!
14. Have a campfire. Except this time you can be drunk and can roast as many marshmallows as you want!
15. Go on an overnight! Go camping for one night and sleep outside. You can do this in your backyard if you are lazy and/or broke. It's preferrable if you can go to like, a state park campsite and pay 30 bucks to set up a tent and drink your PBRs amongst the trees.

These are my suggestions for a successful session of adult summer camp! Just guidelines, feel free to adapt to your own needs

Identity Crisis

Okay, I just found out that the Zodiac has been changed to include a 13th sign that was part of the traditional Babylonian panoply. Thus, many of us now have new signs. My dad is no longer a Pisces, but an Aquarius, for instance.

I mean, yes it sucks to have your sign shift, but you guys, my situation resulting from this change is worse.

I am the new 13th sign.

It's called Ophiuchus. First of all, that word sounds like "mucus". Second of all, WHO AM I?! My whole life I have been told I am a classic Sagittarius. Here are some Sagittarian characteristics:

Interested in expanding horizons through traveling abroad, learning foreign languages, or immersing themselves in unique cultures. These individuals thrive on higher education. They tend to be optimistic and have a great capacity for faith, as it is this good-natured faith that usually plays into their fortunate endeavors. Fiery enthusiasm, blunt sincerity, honest convictions, love of independence, adventurous, enjoy the outdoors, joyful, and outgoing (thanks, Wikipedia).

That just summed up yours truly, no?

But apparently NOT!

So who am I now, if not a joyful, blunt, traveler?

NO ONE KNOWS! In an hour of intensive internet research on characteristics of the Ophiuchus, I could not find one site with a list of qualities. Not only must I shed my Sagittarian identity, I have to deal with my new Zodiac sign being a total tabula fucking rasa. This may result in years of therapy.

Ca-cawwwwww

I saw "Black Swan" last night with my cousins.

I was stressed out for like, 3 hours after seeing it. I wasn't scared at all during the movie, I was just seriously stressed out. I think the perfectionist in me was especially terrified, as the picking at skin around fingernails is maybe something I do--what if it's a gateway behavior?! What if I turn into a psychologically tortured, cake-refusing, infantilized, barfing, skin-scratching prima ballerina?! It could happen. It's a fine line between functioning perfectionism and psycho, you guys.

Christmas "Break"

Technically I do not have a Christmas Break, as I have worked basically every day except Christmas Eve and Day, but it's sure feeling like a G.Ho. Christmas vacation!

All neighborhood friends are home, we shuffle from house to house every few hours, I spent several evenings drinking champagne and eating BFF's mom's cooking, watching Degrassi, and wearing sweats and Ugg slippers...If that's not a description of every G. Ho. Christmas Break since time immemorial, then I don't know what is! I don't want my grown-up world to come back!

Also, it's very nice to be around people who shower as infrequently as I do. Viva la dirty!