Bum Wednesday

It's Wednesday. What does that mean in normal person-speak? It means the worst day of the week; it's not acceptable to drink on a Tuesday night, so you didn't have any fun the evening before, and it's not yet Thursday so you're probably not going out later. What does that leave you with? Exhaustion, boredom, desparation, endless hours of checking your social networking site of choice. It's really quite the joyous day for those who are gainfully employed.

I, on the other hand, am jobless. Who knows how long this will last, but I propose to make this Wednesday, and all future Wednesdays that I remain unemployed, "Bum Wednesday". "Bum Wednesday" is a new holiday.

Every unemployed Wednesday I am going to get up no earlier than 10am, I am going to spend too much time on the internet, I am not going to get dressed, I am not going to shower (not that that's anything new), I am not going to put on makeup, I am not going to exercize, I am going to eat popsicles or some other disgusting childhood summertime food, and I am going to lie in front of the TV/youtube screen all day doing nothing. These are the essentials of Bum Wednesday.

Additional rules: I can only leave the house under extreme circumstances (such as an offer to eat a fatty lunch with friends), I cannot jobsearch, I cannot better myself (painting my nails is the one exception), I must keep the bedroom blinds closed for no less than one hour after waking from my slumbers, I must spend a significant portion of my day channel flipping, I cannot talk to people who are being productive (ie. replying to texts from people who are bored at their respective places of employment [unless it is this response: "sry, bum wdnsdy. cn't talk 2 u now. 2 bsy wtchin telemundo]), I cannot read anything deemed "high literature", I must spend a minimum of one consecutive hour surfing the web, I cannot clean, I cannot spend more than $10 (especially since I am only allowed out of the house for extreme circumstances).

I know what you're thinking: this new holiday is nothing new; it's called my average Sunday morning experience--it's basically a hangover day! I call foul on "holiday status". However, please keep in mind that this is Hangover Day minus the pounding headache and/or intestinal distress. Thus, it deserves it's status as a holiday. Viva la Bum Wednesday!

Wednesdays will be my mid-week weekend, so to speak. I deserve it. Being unemployed is exhausting! I've been: teaching my newly legal cousin T how to drink last Tuesday; eating (and drinking) for Italy at Taste of Abruzzo with K & M last Wednesday; chillin like a villian with Garrett and his cat and other friends last Thursday, as well as coping with the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah, MJ, and Billy Mayes; an extensive Moe happy hour turned into a happy night turned into an improv show on Friday; a hungover Saturday and a send-off dinner for K, who is on her way to Italy; and getting cable installed on Sunday. Monday was spent at Cal Anderson with the roommate, eating chips and guac. Yesterday was spent at Volunteer park where I ran into M, and getting dinner/ice cream with Katrina. Therefore, today is going to be Bum Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Pictures and documentation to follow.