Things I Like #2

Things I Like

There was a request for this entry of "Things I Like", so here it is:

Celebrity Children.

Why do I like the spawn of Hollywood hotties? First, they usually have two attractive stars as parents, which means they are DOUBLY adorable and will eventually be a SUPER hottie (unfortuntely, this is not always the case. Ahem, Rumer Willis). Second, at the age of three, they are wearing more expensive and fashionable clothing items than me. Third, they're hammy for the cameras, unlike their world-weary celebrity parents who no longer smile for the cameras when they're grocery shopping. Their children, however, always smile when a photog is snapping a picture of them with mommy and daddy after their Scientology session. Fourth, they're cute, they're sassy, and I don't have to actually interact with them. As many Team Lara fans know, I enjoy looking at small children, I enjoy small childrens' miniature clothing and shoes, I enjoy the concept of small children, but I rarely enjoy spending large quantities of time with small children. They yell, they get messy, they cry, they whine...In short, they are far too much like me. However, looking at pics of and reading articles about celebrity children satisfies my enjoyment of cute, quiet, polite, independent, well-dressed small children without facing the reality that children are never any of these things.

Here are my favorite celebrity children. This is based off of rigorous research from a scholarly journal called "Perez Hilton".

• Cruz Beckham: he is the youngest son of David (may-jah hottie) and Victoria (member of the first favorite band) and he break-dances. Enough said.


• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: on principle, I don't want to fawn over Shiloh because I have serious reservations about her mother (she seems like a wonderful mother, but she once drank her husband's blood and made out with her brother--two facts that are hard to forget); but, one look at those eyes and those outfits and I am oohing and ahhing over her. She'll probably end up being a rock star. I also really like that she carries her baby doll around with her and that she seems like a laid back, California baby. When Shiloh grows up, I'd rather hang with her than Suri, I'll be honest.
  
  
  


• Suri Cruise: mostly I am fascinated because she really should not exist. Who in a million years would imagine that Tom Cruise would get with sweet little Dawson's Creek girl and create a Scientology baby who wears Burberry? Anyone? Me neither, but he did and it's awesome. I love Suri because she seems perpetually pissed off, and it's hard to maintain that kind of attitude at the age of two. I like that she never wears pants, and that she enjoys stuffed animals. I covet her Burberry and Pucci jumpers. I appreciate that she's an only child. I like her stylish bob and her bangs. I like her painted nails.

• Violet Affleck: OH MY GOD! She is hands down my favorite celebrity child. If I have children, I hope that mine is as cute and sweet and quiet-looking as this one. She is never not smiling in pictures, she wears cute, yet not outlandish (ahem, Suri) clothes, she plays on jungle gyms, she has curly blonde hair, she has dimples, I've never seen a picture of her crying or looking pissy, she has two major hotties as parents, and she is going to be a big sister. CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE (and so well-behaved)!
  
  

• Cara, Maddy, Aaden, Collin, Joel, Hannah, Leah, and Alexis Gosselin: technically, these are not celebrity children because they are famous due to a reality show in which TLC captures what it is like to live in a family with two sets of multiples. But whatever, I am still hopelessly devoted to these little trouble makers (who really don't make as much trouble as eight kids could if they set their minds to it). I love them (with the exception of Maddy, but more on that later) because they wear cute clothes, they are incredibly photogenic, they mumble and have made-up words, they all have little personalities, they have one special characteristic that makes it easy for me to remember who is who, they seem to like each other, they don't appear to be hellions (again, excepting Maddy), and none of them has a tantrum without some merit--if I were one of eight, I would flip out from time to time, too. They are all adorable and I would be totally star-struck if I ever saw them in an airport flying to Hawaii or Florida or Colorado or any of the other million places TLC has sent them this season as a means of getting higher ratings.
  

I'm not going to lie, though, I do have favorites. I adore Alexis, Hannah, and Aaden. I would rather gouge my eyes out than spend time with Maddy, who seems to be a total attention whore at the age of 8. God help the Gosselin parents when she is 16. Cara, her twin sister, is pretty cute, too; sadly, Collin and Joel are pretty whiney and lacking personalities, and Leah just pales in comparison to Hannah ("Hannie") and Alexis. Reasons why I love Alexis: she's sassy, she doesn't sleep, she is a little bossy, she is cuddly, and she loves her stuffed alligator. Reasons why I love Hannah: she's the girliest, she won't let Kate cut her hair, she wears adorable clothes, she makes really cute facial expressions, and she's helpful around the house. Hannah is my over-all favorite and I want to adopt her. Jon and Kate have eight kids, I'm sure they wouldn't miss one! Spread the adorable love! Reasons why I love Aaden: he wears glasses.

Aaden:

Alexis:

Hannah (this is not the most flattering pic of Hannah; she must just not be photogenic, because she's by far the cutest on tv):

And that concludes my extensive research on celebrity children. I hope you've enjoyed the fruits of my labor. Look forward to the next Thing I Like post which will be about Emma, my Lynx Point Siamese kitten and the Team Manager of Team Lara