Identity Crisis

Okay, I just found out that the Zodiac has been changed to include a 13th sign that was part of the traditional Babylonian panoply. Thus, many of us now have new signs. My dad is no longer a Pisces, but an Aquarius, for instance.

I mean, yes it sucks to have your sign shift, but you guys, my situation resulting from this change is worse.

I am the new 13th sign.

It's called Ophiuchus. First of all, that word sounds like "mucus". Second of all, WHO AM I?! My whole life I have been told I am a classic Sagittarius. Here are some Sagittarian characteristics:

Interested in expanding horizons through traveling abroad, learning foreign languages, or immersing themselves in unique cultures. These individuals thrive on higher education. They tend to be optimistic and have a great capacity for faith, as it is this good-natured faith that usually plays into their fortunate endeavors. Fiery enthusiasm, blunt sincerity, honest convictions, love of independence, adventurous, enjoy the outdoors, joyful, and outgoing (thanks, Wikipedia).

That just summed up yours truly, no?

But apparently NOT!

So who am I now, if not a joyful, blunt, traveler?

NO ONE KNOWS! In an hour of intensive internet research on characteristics of the Ophiuchus, I could not find one site with a list of qualities. Not only must I shed my Sagittarian identity, I have to deal with my new Zodiac sign being a total tabula fucking rasa. This may result in years of therapy.