Identity Crisis

Okay, I just found out that the Zodiac has been changed to include a 13th sign that was part of the traditional Babylonian panoply. Thus, many of us now have new signs. My dad is no longer a Pisces, but an Aquarius, for instance.

I mean, yes it sucks to have your sign shift, but you guys, my situation resulting from this change is worse.

I am the new 13th sign.

It's called Ophiuchus. First of all, that word sounds like "mucus". Second of all, WHO AM I?! My whole life I have been told I am a classic Sagittarius. Here are some Sagittarian characteristics:

Interested in expanding horizons through traveling abroad, learning foreign languages, or immersing themselves in unique cultures. These individuals thrive on higher education. They tend to be optimistic and have a great capacity for faith, as it is this good-natured faith that usually plays into their fortunate endeavors. Fiery enthusiasm, blunt sincerity, honest convictions, love of independence, adventurous, enjoy the outdoors, joyful, and outgoing (thanks, Wikipedia).

That just summed up yours truly, no?

But apparently NOT!

So who am I now, if not a joyful, blunt, traveler?

NO ONE KNOWS! In an hour of intensive internet research on characteristics of the Ophiuchus, I could not find one site with a list of qualities. Not only must I shed my Sagittarian identity, I have to deal with my new Zodiac sign being a total tabula fucking rasa. This may result in years of therapy.

Health Update

I have some bad news for TeamLara members:

I bruised my coccyx. Yes, that's right, my tailbone is bruised.

I have no idea how I did it, but it wasn't a drunk accident, and the chiropractor at my work said that it was quote "kind of normal" to not remember serious bruise trauma. I have a contusion the size of a grape. How do you not remember that?? But anyway, it'll take about 6 weeks to stop hurting, and in the mean time I have to alternate icing and heating my ass. I know I have a reputation for being a huge baby and hypochondriac, but this things seriously hurts. It hurts more than when I sprained my ankle. It turns out the spine is kinda important to your well-being, so please, I urge you, take care of your own, lest you end up like me, sitting on a donut pillow.

When Will this Madness End???

It's super gray and depressing here today in PDX. I've been browsing through my collection of photos from warmer climes as a remedy for Ihatewinteritis

seattle summer 08

San Diego March 07

San Diego March 08

San Diego, Sea World, March 08

Vatican City July 07

Cinque Terre July 07

Cinque Terre July 07

Viareggio June 07

I hate January

You Want to Show Me Your Fox-Tail?

...Oh, you mean your LITERAL fox-tail.

I've heard snippets about Furries for the past few years, and I've even seen a few at the Video Game Arcade Conference thing in Seattle this summer, but never before has it been so well-explained and layed-out for me as in this article.

"Who Are the Furries"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8355287.stm

Choice quotes:

I consider myself "fursona" to be a mixture of a Lion and a Bunny, these are traits of my personality and emotional states that I identify with... I was introduced to the wider fandom though Second Life, and have progressively developed my "fursona", I have found true warm accepting friendship within the furrie community unbound by normal constraints

"Fursuiters", as they are called, bemoan society's inhibitions and look admiring at the animal kingdom where creatures have more freedom to be expressive. Touching, petting, hugging and "skritching" (lightly scratching and grooming) is common at social gatherings.

Very disturbing. I am generally tolerant of people's sexual inclinations and desires, but it just freaks me out that people want to TAP THIS ASS:

History Lessons

Today I went to the gym my family has belonged to for ages and ages in an attempts to feel produtive. This gym is not in my neighborhood, is downtown, is fairly large, and attracts a wide range of...athletes (worker-outers? cardioers? gym rats? gym rats). Therefore, I should not be recognized, right? WRONG. Big wrong.

Today I was recognized by no less than 4 people from my not-so-ancient past:

1. High school physics teacher. He remembered that I sucked BIG TIME at physics. I told him I haven't used it since the day I left his class. Who burned whom? I'd say it was a wash.
2. Weird guy from my dad's office. He likes to chat with me about his daughter who lives in SF, and he's very competitive about her successes as we are the same age. For many years I was one-upping her; unfortunetly, she now earns $80,000/year as an accountant.
3. A vaguely attractive in high school, now definitely attractive XC runner. He told me he has moved home, too. But he is also in law school, so...his attempts at making me feel better ended there. Although chatting about our mutual dislike of Person #1 did lessen my over-all feeling of ickiness at running into the ol' teach.
4. Annoying chick I danced with for three years. She was the type to bully her way to the front row so everyone would be watching her. Now she's taking a year off from UofO to "re-focus". Uh-huh.

Even taking into account that it's Columbus Day and many people don't have work, I'd say it's about time to find myself another gym. Or maybe I'll have to start wearing one of these to my work-outs.

Things I Like, Things I Dislike

Things I Like:

Saturday: cozy rainy-day breakfast with a friend, eating Ballet's Pad Thai, reuniting with Jessica (recently returned from Michigan) on Saturday night at Harvard Theater.

Sunday: beautiful weather, chillin with Glo and playing Mario Kart, lots of lovely friends over for wine, grapes, cheese, crackers, and smoked salmon, getting tipsy, learning how to play Mario Party.

Monday: not feeling hung-over, watching 3 episodes of Discovery Channel's "A Haunting" with the roommates, eating left over grapes, eating a delish dinner and watching Dirty Dancing with several fellow bloggers (NoPants, GarrettLives, GloJamz, ScenesFromAnItalianRestaurant) and others.

Tuesday: beautiful weather, watching Gossip Girl online, packing for NYC, eating Safeway's version of the Girl Scout's Samoa cookie.

Things I Dislike:

I have to move home to Portland on October 4th. NOT PLEASED about this at all. Blerg.

Thing I Like about Thing I Dislike: we're going to have a SICK send-off event. You fools best be leaving Friday, Oct. 2 open. Or else.

TGIF

Yes, even when you're unemployed you Thank God It's Friday. On Fridays I feel less guilty about taking a two hour nap, reading a good book in bed, browsing Perez, eating Taquitos, watching Ellen, etc. Not that the above isn't my daily routine, but I just feel less Catholic guilt when I indulge on a Friday than on, say, a Tuesday. Today I can excuse my laziness in the afternoon (see entire contents of list above) with the accomplishment of waking up at 8am and going to the gym by 9:30. However, gym-going, despite its good intentions, backfired. I was waylayed by a group of hideous Seattle Academy middle schoolers while I waited to cross Madison. While wearing ballet flats, skinny jeans, Urban tee shirts, and raybans, these twelve year olds stared me down as I sweated in my ratty gym clothes. I was seriously getting the Evil Eye from these kiddies. I'm pretty sure they were thinking "Why is this old woman standing near us? I hope her bad clothes won't rub off on us". It's a little intimidating to be hardcore judged by half a dozen sixth grade girls, let me tell you. As nostalgic as I am about September and the start of school, I am mighty glad to not be starting my sixth grade year. Shit. Them beezies are scary.

To summarize: it was no way to start my precious Friday. I'm gonna need a drank tonight. Then maybe I'll be able to shake off their stares. Maybe.

Things I Dislike: Sweatiness

How do you stay cool when the mercury rises?

My mother always perscribed a healthy dose of "cold movies". We would sit in our dark family room, its windows and blinds having been closed since 7am, and watch movies that took place in icy, snowy locations. This often led to us watching Christmas classics in the midst of summer.

Since I am not spending these dog days under my mother's watch, I have to figure out my own coping mechanisms. Mainly, these consist of short, cold showers, naps, and alcohol. I know booze makes you hotter, but it also makes you sleepy, and then you can just nap away those unpleasent, sweaty afternoons.

Yesterday I went over to the house of pals Megan and Cara. They live off the Hill in a real neighborhood, complete with backyard and large deck. We sunbathed for a few hours, spritzing each other with the hose every few minutes, and listening to top 40 radio. There's nothing like hip hop when you're frying in the sun. We got sleepy and bored, so around 3pm we chopped up mint leaves and made some stroonnnng mojitos. And we kept on mojito-ing through dinner, through our impromptu 90s dance-music singalong, and through a viewing of Clueless. None of us were very coherent by the time 10pm rolled around, as it was at least 90 deg. inside the house even after the sun went down, and we'd been drinking for a solid 6 hours, and we'd probably sweated a good 10 pounds. However, we managed to make the day go by real quick, which is significantly different than how I remember afternoons filled with my mother's cool-down method. So booze, friends and 90s dance parties it is, then!

I'm neurotic

I'm a Lit major, so I like words and the sounds and images they produce. But I have to admit that I am terrified by certain words, some because of how they sound and some because of their connotation. If you want to be a part of Team Lara, you won't use these words around me:

1. Moist. I know, I know, this is everyone's LFW (least favorite word). No one on earth, not even non-English speakers who don't know its connotation, could possibly like this word.
2. Culot. Yes, I mean the article of clothing often worn by young girls in the early '90s. I just don't like the way it sounds. It's too close to cutlet, and I don't like the idea of wearing meat on my legs.
3. Chunk. Again, this is more about the sound than anything else.
4. Skotch (as in, move over a skotch). I've found that most people are fortunate enough to never have heard this word. Unfortunetly for me, my 12th grade biology teacher used it quite often. One reason I dislike it is due to an unfortunate dissecting incident in which my teacher told me to adjust my rat's skin flap* "just a skotch" so I could see its intestines better. *Cross-referenced with #9.
5. Ointment. Why would you ever want to rub something with such a disgusting name on your skin?
6. Grind. This is perhaps because I never know what it's past tense form should be: ground, grinded, grounded--none of the possibilities sound correct.
7. Balmy. I feel I should explain a little. Before the junior prom, my group went to Benihana's (yes, we were very classy). A couple from another high school was there in prom get-up, so our server sat us with them. The guy was a freak and a half. He jabbered on and on while the girl looked miserable. At one point, the guys leaned over toward the girl and said, "My cheek feels balmy. Will you touch my cheek? Does it feel balmy?". The girl looked at him as if he were a disgusting insect and told him he should go check it out in the bathroom. After he left, there was a beat, and then she told us, "He's my boyfriend's younger brother. I owed him a favor". Creepy, damp-cheeked guy + awkward situation + uncomfortable prom dress + too much stir-fry = why I dislike the word balmy.
8. Filmy. It makes me think of slimey webbed toes.
9. Flaps. Mud flaps, wing flaps, body flaps...they're all bad. *Cross-referenced with #4.
10. Orange. Oranges are my least favorite fruit, I hate the way they smell, I hate their disgusting white skins, I hate their vein-y compartments, but most of all I hate pronouncing the word orange.