Editorial Review

It's amazing what you can find on google image

I've been spending a lot of time at my internship, which I am kinda obsessed with. There are a lot of good things going on there for me: I'm getting experience and confirming that working with lit/the arts is what I want to do with my life. I'm reading some really mind-blowing submissions. I get to interact with very cool, passionate people who are mostly as nerdy and into reading stuff as I am. I get to "belong" to something, to have some sort of sense of community outside of my family and friends. It feels good to interact with a group of people for a common cause, because without even realizing it, that's something I've missed this year. Tonight we had an editorial meeting, and then we all went to get coffee. We got into a discussion about the necessity of the Oxford/Serial comma. For like 20 minutes. Yeah. I'm a little embarressed. But whatever! We're young and literary! Anyway, I promise they're all very normal, nice people. So lit mag is treating me well, and I'm excited to keep reading and being judgmental about authors' tense confusion and split infinitives.

For-arrgh

The title is my attempt at a pirate-golf pun.

Why?

Because friends Katie and Emily took me to Glowing Greens, a pirate themed mini-golf joint in downtown. Don't worry, copious amounts of rum were consumed before our athletic competition took place (I totally won, btw). I can't really even explain how amazing and perfectly "Lara" this place is. First of all, when you go to the door, there is a pirate greeting you. Don't worry, I took lots of pictures with him. You enter and walk downstairs, and all the sudden you are in a black-lit, under-the-sea world of enchantment. It's Pirates of the Caribbean without Keira Knightly fugging it up. The dudes who run the ticket counter were super hot, despite their jobs as employees of a pirate mini-golf green, and were generous with the compliments and eye-winks. They were kind of bros, but I'm pretty sure they had been those boys from 6th grade with crewcuts* and orange Gap hoodies who grow up to be nice, athletic gents who sometimes make my heart go pitter patter. ANYWAY, I digress.

Glowing Greens is pretty cheap at $7, and if you're willing to shell out an extra $1, you get 3D glasses that make the entire place even more magical, if that's possible. Fish swim off the walls! Treasure chests spill out coins and jewels! Marine plants shimmer in the waves! Kraken's threaten to pull you to the briny depths! I've never heard of black light golf, nor pirate golf, but the combo of the two AND 3D???? OUT OF THIS WORLD! Cheesiness at its best. It was like being on a ride at Disneyland, except you get to touch all the scenery. There is a series of photos of me with a shark that are best left undeveloped. Sorry that all the other, more appropriate, pics aren't available for viewing; it was Katie's camera and she is notoriously slow about posting pics to facebook.

*Yes, I still love Paul Walker. What? Like you don't??

Global Warming Alert

It's like 60 degrees outside and sunny, and it's only Feb. 5th. It would be concerning if it wasn't so radical. Today I've run outside, sat in the backyard and read while my dogs gnawed on rhododendrons, and almost fell asleep during my hair cut because the sun was so warm on my back. Hasta la vista, polar bears, let's keep this sunshine streaming!

Ciao, Portland

my gift to you

Hey amici. So you know how I took Ital for like, ever, but have nothing to use it for other than pretentiously ordering dishes at restaurants?

NO LONGER!

I've found a place to chat with real live Italians (no, not LiveChat):

Costello's Travel Cafe

It's a cutesy little Euro-inspired cafe that hosts all sorts of language events, including Italiano. They have an Italian chat night when actual Italians, and not guidettes, come and chat with learners of la lingua, so I think I'm going to do it. I'm kinda scurrd, because il mio italiano is un po' limited, but my major motivation is...the hope that someone can recommend a new Europop CD to me, because LunaPop's Squerez...? has been on heavy rotation lately...and, I guess, that I might like, improve my language skillz. And perhaps that someone will teach me how to get my hair did a la Snooki. I'll let you know if I meet my goals.

Weekend Update

Shirley Maclaine

Hey pals!

I'm back from the MLK wknd. Basically I'm owning this town the way Jay-Z owns NYC. Here's what I did:

Friend Katie visited her old roommate, Emily, and we all pal-ed around together, drinking lots of yummy concoctions and playing my new favorite board game, The Settlers of Catan, and several rounds of the best card game ever, Phase 10. We also went to my fave P-town bar, Bartini, where we consumed wayyyyy too many exotic martinis, such as a Snickertini, and a Bird of Paradise, a drink which involves guava and cinnamon! The perfect Lara drink! Bartini had a super cute bartender who gave me a free drink and a free cheese fondue pot (guess which free item I was more excited about [hint: the cheesy one]). It's love. I have to go back next Sunday so that I can give him my #. We also ran into the 24 Hour Church of Elvis, which is kind of hard to explain, so just click on this link so you can be caught up. I was told that in my past life I was a bird, a fish, and Shirley Maclaine. Reader(s), does this sound accurate to you? I have to admit, it makes a lot of sense to me.

It's Christmas Time in the City

Lots of fun stuff going on!

Last week Christmas movie night at Emily's with Kels and Cara (and hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps). "Eight is a lot of legs, David" and "I hate Uncle Jamie".

Another Christmas movie day--a FULL DAY--with aunt and girl-cousins. We watched the shit out of White Christmas and Holiday Inn. And Nat. Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Family Christmas party with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins

(minus one, who is training back east for the Marines and is trying to fight the snowstorm to make it back to Oregon before shipping out--please, please, please melt, east coast snow). Always the highlight of the holiday season, as it involves a group of ten 20-somethings singing Christmas songs, doing White Elephant exchanges, getting dirt on our parents from slightly tipsy aunts, and trying to sneak booze to younger cousins.

Peacock Lane, a street with 100% participation in Christmas light decorating (super intense, you have to sign a contract when you move in that you'll go all out every year), with Emily, Kels, and Cara. Photos:

Thanks, Thanksgiving!

Dear Thanksgiving Weekend,

Thank you for bringing me so much fun, food, and friend-family-time!

Wednesday:

Roommate L and Roommate's sister M came home to Portland!!!! Sexytimes at Starbucks for the three of us. Almost peed my pants when I saw them waiting for me. Around 10pm Best Friend L came home. Greeted her at her house and drank and watched shitty reality TV with her and her mom.

Thursday:

Woke up late, ate my favorite Nancy's Yogurt, watched National Dog Show, made carrot side dish, went over to grandpa's at 2:30, began eating and drinking at 3:30, drank and played cards with cousins until 1 am. 17 relatives in attendance. This was the night my 10 year old male cousin told me that 23 was too old to have a boyfriend; either I'd have to be married or give up and become a spinster. He also said that you peak at 15. Well, shit, I hope children aren't as wise as people claim them to be.

Friday:

Felt disgusting, watched shitty reality TV with Best Friend L. For the second day in a row went over to grandpa's house at 3, had our traditional Leftovers Dinner, drank a lot, played more games with my cousins, watched new Star Trek movie with my cousins and several aunts and uncles. Enjoyed family time, but was happy to escape to grab drinks with Best High School Friends, K and M. Got pretty sloppy, went to VooDoo Doughnuts to sop up all the liquid in us, went to some dive bar downtown and ran into a ton of high school people, got two free drinks from unattractive yet generous gentlemen, and then didn't have to drive home!!!! Thank god for K having some family shit to do the next morning at 8 and offering to be the DD.

Saturday:

Slept in, massive hang-over, lounged at Best Friend L's until her mother forced us to go pick up the sushi for L's birthday dinner party. FOUND OUT THAT WEST PORTLAND'S WATER HAS E COLI IN IT, ergo did not shower. By this point had not showered since Wednesday*, and probably reek of turkey and alcohol. Best Friend L and I tried to make ourselves look presentable sans water (Jesus H. Christ, are we in Appalachia or what?!!), put on outfits entirely deriving from Forever21, ate a bunch of the sushi before guests came so we got the best rolls, made Lava Lamp Cocktails (pomegranate liquor, champagne, pomegranate seeds--seeds float up and down like a Lava Lamp), childhood friends and all their families attended, which of course meant we drank like fiends, almost puked up birthday cake but continued drinking Cooks, learned disturbing sexual secrets from mothers of childhood friends, drank more to erase those unpleasant revelations, played Yahtzee, picked at leftover cake, drank more, felt relieved when adults left at midnight, put on sweatpants and watched Degrassi with L and two other friends, passed out around 3am for the second night in a row.

Sunday:

Sleep in real, real late. Get woken up by L at 11:30 telling me to get my ass down to her house because her mother is taking us to brunch in NW Portland. Eat scrambled eggs and orange juice because they can't make tea due to the LITERAL SHIT in Portland's water supply. Walk around NW 23rd Ave for several hours. Discover that one of my favorite New York stores, Brooklyn Industries, has its only West Coast location on 23rd. Feel remarkably un-hungover despite, according to L's math, having consumed 2 bottles of champagne by myself. Come home around 4 and nap until 6. Return to L's for dinner. Bum around her house until she has to leave for the airport. Go look at Christmas lights with my parents.

*It is Sunday at 10:45 and I have still not showered. That's right, my friends, 5 days of food and alcohol and no shower. And my hair has never looked better. No joke, totes serious.

Things I Like #12

New (Old) Friends

I've been trying to make more friends in P-town, because although I have some good ones here, there's always room for more, right?! This weekend my friend Kayla was in town for a goodbye party. Because everyone in Oregon knows each other, she's like BFFs with a girl I was friends(ish) with in high school. Much of the night was spent recalling who was a cokehead in our graduating class, who is failing at life, and which kids turned into huge(er) sluts when they hit college. She went to UofO, so she has much more access to fellow alumni, and therefore has lots more post-prep school gossip. Anyway, a large group of us took on Portland and explored NE Alberta St, which I like a lot, but don't spend much time on. Kind of 12th Ave meets 15th Ave vibe. Then we tried not to die in Chinatown. Then we got VooDoo donuts and several free drinks at this place called Valentine. Portland men are much friendlier than Seattle men, I have found. Or perhaps they were just more amorous because we were at a place called Valentine.

AND I got two Friendship phone numbers. Score! Friendship phone numbers, I have found, are almost more difficult to obtain than LoveInterest phone numbers. It's very awkward to ask for a Friendship number. The timing has to be just right, you don't want to seem too pushy, you can't use it right away, and you have to be kind of jokey about it--otherwise the Passive-Aggressive, Shy Northwesterner will become very anxious about why you've asked for their number. Does anyone else have this problem?

Anyway, new friends and new-old friends are fun, and a thing that I like. Keep 'em coming, all ye Friendship Gods!

Northwest Film & Video Fest

Here is the promo for the NW Film & Video Fest taking place in P-town:

Those animals take such great direction.

Bringing it, Portland-Style

Last night I met Emily and Kelsey for happy hour at a bar called The Shanghai Tunnel, and luckilly it didn't go too overboard with its nod to Portland's illustrious past. Yes, you went down a narrow, dark staircase to get to the main bar, and yes there was red lighting and some Chinese dragons painted on a wall, but they also made my Greyhounds by squeezing a real grapefruit into the vodka, and they only charged $3. Excellent!

Next, Kells, because we wanted food. You can't really go wrong with Kells, even though it's Mecca for the fratty-bro-type (along with old people and high schoolers with fakes). Emily, Kelsey, and I commented on how Bros are far more common (and perhaps acceptable) in Portland, and most of our non-Seattle friends are not too familiar with the concept of "The Bro". We agreed that when we try to describe what a Bro is to said friends, we just end up insulting/confusing them a little. "But that's what all my guy friends are like", seems to be a common response to our explanation of "The Bro". In addition to our sharing our anthropological notes, we enjoyed hamburgers and drinks.

OD-ing on Home

In both a means to fit my stuff in my childhood bedroom and to remain in denial about my move home, I have begun an epic task: purging 80% of the shit in my bedroom.

I have essays left over from freshman year of high school lurking in the bottom drawer of my desk. I found a collection of Lisa Frank folders under my bed (Casey and Candy the golden retreivers who frolic in the neon pink and green landscape of LisaFrankLand [apparently Tuscon, AZ] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Frank). There are several tupperware boxes full of beads, buttons, and vials of sparkles. Stuffed animals take up half my closet space. I also have a huge collection of middle school-era CDs that must be dealt with. It is a fucking archeological dig in my bedroom, Gesu Cristo.

I am trying to forget my troubles by going to Greek food with Katie tonight. Ouzo and calamari will sooth my soul, right?

Things I Like #5

Colin Meloy Covers

Why, might you ask? Portland, acoustic guitars, classic songs, that slightly nasal voice, and surprising adaptations. Although I have a soft spot for most of the original versions of these fine tunes, Mr. Meloy gives them a certain special something. When he performs them live, you often get witty comments such as, "This is a sad, modern campfire song. You'd put out the fire using tears with this one", in reference to his Morrissey cover. Favorites include:

Jonie Mitchell's "A Case of You". Filmed in Seattle!


Sam Cooke's "Cupid". Filmed in Portland!


Morrissey's "Everyday is Like Sunday".


Elliott Smith's "Clementine". Filmed in Portland!

I wish we were allowed to see the cellphone-waving that he describes half way through.