Impending Cat-Lady Status

I'm a little concerned for myself, because last Saturday night my cousin and I read wedding magazines (we didn't purchase them, they are hand-me-downs from our younger cousin's wedding!) from midnight to 4:30 am. Yes, you read that correctly. We drunkenly/sleepily concocted our perfect weddings for 4.5 hours. Spoiler alert: mine's going to be an awesome dance party, so get ready, slash, you'll probably be waiting a long time since my fiancé is of the non-existent variety.

I hope this does not signify 12 cats and a visit from the crew of "Hoarders" are in my future.

Professor Falafel

Falafel

+

Professor

=

The Sublime

Last night was an epic Portland experience; a cheap bar off Hawthorne followed by the best falafel I've ever had, served to me by a young, hot falafel-maker. I don't know his name, but we bestowed upon him the nomiker "Professor Falafel", which turned into "Doc Falaf" (we wanted it to rhyme like "Doc Oc" real bad, but it just wasn't happening). I believe this started by me telling him, "You're so good at falafel making, I bet you have a PhD in it". Doc Falaf, I'll be back; keep that falafel griddle warm for me.

Easter

Every year my family goes to midnight mass, as do all our friends, and afterward the parish holds this gigantic feast. Picture Beowulf's Mead Hall scene, but with less bloodshed and more suits and ties. There are like, 4 cafeteria tables worth of goodies including caviar, marinated shrimp, homemade meatballs, smoked salmon, sushi, ham, souvlaki, and more ham. And then in the "Fireside Room" there are 5 tables full of desserts. I'm not joking. Best of all, there are two tables of champagne bottles. There's basically one bottle per person. The first time I got drunk was because of this event, ahh memories!

Anyway, almost every kid I grew up with is there, so it's a crazy reunion party, too. We all get to meet new boy/girlfriends (and judge them), hear about someone's annoyingly perfect younger/older siblings, and complain about that one chick's creepy dad who almost ran one of us over in the parking lot one Easter (true story). We all consume a shit ton of the stuff we gave up for Lent (ie booze, chocolate, candy, meat), feel ill, walk around outside for awhile, then eat and drink some more until we're kicked out by the priest around 1am. It's pretty epic, and I don't really know of any other church that goes as balls-out as mine does for Easter.

Anyway, the Saturday night feast means no one in my family eats (excepting Easter Bunny candy, duh) until Easter dinner with the whole family, at which we consume pretty much the same amount as we did the night before. Except this time we don't have to make small talk with a family friend who used to drive me to soccer practices. This year there was a family contest to see whose Peep could be microwaved the largest. Exploding Peeps are disqualified. We also did a Peep battle, aka Peep Jousting, in which you insert toothpicks into the chests of each Peep, face the Peeps toward each other in the microwave, and see which Peep expands enough to poke the other in the chest with its toothpick first. Mine got second place.

And that was my Easter.

Lime Time

We had a fun, sexy time celebrating Lauren's bday

"Gimme Your Best Gnome Face"

...And with those words a beautiful photo was taken. It took me months to get my hands on this pic, but now it is finally mine!

We're the cutest woodland gnomes in the world

For-arrgh

The title is my attempt at a pirate-golf pun.

Why?

Because friends Katie and Emily took me to Glowing Greens, a pirate themed mini-golf joint in downtown. Don't worry, copious amounts of rum were consumed before our athletic competition took place (I totally won, btw). I can't really even explain how amazing and perfectly "Lara" this place is. First of all, when you go to the door, there is a pirate greeting you. Don't worry, I took lots of pictures with him. You enter and walk downstairs, and all the sudden you are in a black-lit, under-the-sea world of enchantment. It's Pirates of the Caribbean without Keira Knightly fugging it up. The dudes who run the ticket counter were super hot, despite their jobs as employees of a pirate mini-golf green, and were generous with the compliments and eye-winks. They were kind of bros, but I'm pretty sure they had been those boys from 6th grade with crewcuts* and orange Gap hoodies who grow up to be nice, athletic gents who sometimes make my heart go pitter patter. ANYWAY, I digress.

Glowing Greens is pretty cheap at $7, and if you're willing to shell out an extra $1, you get 3D glasses that make the entire place even more magical, if that's possible. Fish swim off the walls! Treasure chests spill out coins and jewels! Marine plants shimmer in the waves! Kraken's threaten to pull you to the briny depths! I've never heard of black light golf, nor pirate golf, but the combo of the two AND 3D???? OUT OF THIS WORLD! Cheesiness at its best. It was like being on a ride at Disneyland, except you get to touch all the scenery. There is a series of photos of me with a shark that are best left undeveloped. Sorry that all the other, more appropriate, pics aren't available for viewing; it was Katie's camera and she is notoriously slow about posting pics to facebook.

*Yes, I still love Paul Walker. What? Like you don't??

Weekend Update

Shirley Maclaine

Hey pals!

I'm back from the MLK wknd. Basically I'm owning this town the way Jay-Z owns NYC. Here's what I did:

Friend Katie visited her old roommate, Emily, and we all pal-ed around together, drinking lots of yummy concoctions and playing my new favorite board game, The Settlers of Catan, and several rounds of the best card game ever, Phase 10. We also went to my fave P-town bar, Bartini, where we consumed wayyyyy too many exotic martinis, such as a Snickertini, and a Bird of Paradise, a drink which involves guava and cinnamon! The perfect Lara drink! Bartini had a super cute bartender who gave me a free drink and a free cheese fondue pot (guess which free item I was more excited about [hint: the cheesy one]). It's love. I have to go back next Sunday so that I can give him my #. We also ran into the 24 Hour Church of Elvis, which is kind of hard to explain, so just click on this link so you can be caught up. I was told that in my past life I was a bird, a fish, and Shirley Maclaine. Reader(s), does this sound accurate to you? I have to admit, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Thanks, Thanksgiving!

Dear Thanksgiving Weekend,

Thank you for bringing me so much fun, food, and friend-family-time!

Wednesday:

Roommate L and Roommate's sister M came home to Portland!!!! Sexytimes at Starbucks for the three of us. Almost peed my pants when I saw them waiting for me. Around 10pm Best Friend L came home. Greeted her at her house and drank and watched shitty reality TV with her and her mom.

Thursday:

Woke up late, ate my favorite Nancy's Yogurt, watched National Dog Show, made carrot side dish, went over to grandpa's at 2:30, began eating and drinking at 3:30, drank and played cards with cousins until 1 am. 17 relatives in attendance. This was the night my 10 year old male cousin told me that 23 was too old to have a boyfriend; either I'd have to be married or give up and become a spinster. He also said that you peak at 15. Well, shit, I hope children aren't as wise as people claim them to be.

Friday:

Felt disgusting, watched shitty reality TV with Best Friend L. For the second day in a row went over to grandpa's house at 3, had our traditional Leftovers Dinner, drank a lot, played more games with my cousins, watched new Star Trek movie with my cousins and several aunts and uncles. Enjoyed family time, but was happy to escape to grab drinks with Best High School Friends, K and M. Got pretty sloppy, went to VooDoo Doughnuts to sop up all the liquid in us, went to some dive bar downtown and ran into a ton of high school people, got two free drinks from unattractive yet generous gentlemen, and then didn't have to drive home!!!! Thank god for K having some family shit to do the next morning at 8 and offering to be the DD.

Saturday:

Slept in, massive hang-over, lounged at Best Friend L's until her mother forced us to go pick up the sushi for L's birthday dinner party. FOUND OUT THAT WEST PORTLAND'S WATER HAS E COLI IN IT, ergo did not shower. By this point had not showered since Wednesday*, and probably reek of turkey and alcohol. Best Friend L and I tried to make ourselves look presentable sans water (Jesus H. Christ, are we in Appalachia or what?!!), put on outfits entirely deriving from Forever21, ate a bunch of the sushi before guests came so we got the best rolls, made Lava Lamp Cocktails (pomegranate liquor, champagne, pomegranate seeds--seeds float up and down like a Lava Lamp), childhood friends and all their families attended, which of course meant we drank like fiends, almost puked up birthday cake but continued drinking Cooks, learned disturbing sexual secrets from mothers of childhood friends, drank more to erase those unpleasant revelations, played Yahtzee, picked at leftover cake, drank more, felt relieved when adults left at midnight, put on sweatpants and watched Degrassi with L and two other friends, passed out around 3am for the second night in a row.

Sunday:

Sleep in real, real late. Get woken up by L at 11:30 telling me to get my ass down to her house because her mother is taking us to brunch in NW Portland. Eat scrambled eggs and orange juice because they can't make tea due to the LITERAL SHIT in Portland's water supply. Walk around NW 23rd Ave for several hours. Discover that one of my favorite New York stores, Brooklyn Industries, has its only West Coast location on 23rd. Feel remarkably un-hungover despite, according to L's math, having consumed 2 bottles of champagne by myself. Come home around 4 and nap until 6. Return to L's for dinner. Bum around her house until she has to leave for the airport. Go look at Christmas lights with my parents.

*It is Sunday at 10:45 and I have still not showered. That's right, my friends, 5 days of food and alcohol and no shower. And my hair has never looked better. No joke, totes serious.

Bringing it, Portland-Style

Last night I met Emily and Kelsey for happy hour at a bar called The Shanghai Tunnel, and luckilly it didn't go too overboard with its nod to Portland's illustrious past. Yes, you went down a narrow, dark staircase to get to the main bar, and yes there was red lighting and some Chinese dragons painted on a wall, but they also made my Greyhounds by squeezing a real grapefruit into the vodka, and they only charged $3. Excellent!

Next, Kells, because we wanted food. You can't really go wrong with Kells, even though it's Mecca for the fratty-bro-type (along with old people and high schoolers with fakes). Emily, Kelsey, and I commented on how Bros are far more common (and perhaps acceptable) in Portland, and most of our non-Seattle friends are not too familiar with the concept of "The Bro". We agreed that when we try to describe what a Bro is to said friends, we just end up insulting/confusing them a little. "But that's what all my guy friends are like", seems to be a common response to our explanation of "The Bro". In addition to our sharing our anthropological notes, we enjoyed hamburgers and drinks.

LaraBash

Thanks for coming so that I didn't have to get drunk by myself

Here is a link to the facebook album if you just can't get enough of these gems: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=2070230&id=32402525&ref=mf

Things I Like, Things I Dislike

Things I Like:

Saturday: cozy rainy-day breakfast with a friend, eating Ballet's Pad Thai, reuniting with Jessica (recently returned from Michigan) on Saturday night at Harvard Theater.

Sunday: beautiful weather, chillin with Glo and playing Mario Kart, lots of lovely friends over for wine, grapes, cheese, crackers, and smoked salmon, getting tipsy, learning how to play Mario Party.

Monday: not feeling hung-over, watching 3 episodes of Discovery Channel's "A Haunting" with the roommates, eating left over grapes, eating a delish dinner and watching Dirty Dancing with several fellow bloggers (NoPants, GarrettLives, GloJamz, ScenesFromAnItalianRestaurant) and others.

Tuesday: beautiful weather, watching Gossip Girl online, packing for NYC, eating Safeway's version of the Girl Scout's Samoa cookie.

Things I Dislike:

I have to move home to Portland on October 4th. NOT PLEASED about this at all. Blerg.

Thing I Like about Thing I Dislike: we're going to have a SICK send-off event. You fools best be leaving Friday, Oct. 2 open. Or else.

Miracle of Miracles!

Just because summer's winding down doesn't mean the fun has to. Last night we celebrated the male-roommate's 23rd birthday with style. And by 'style' I mean Cooks. Male-roommate is friends with lots of people who I used to work with on a daily basis, but who I'm not close enough to see regularly now that school's over, so I got very excited to have a mini-reunion with those fine gents. I stayed up way past my bedtime! But, luckilly, when I was grumpy next morning due to the previously stated lack of sleep, a miracle saved me.

A Miracle of St. Nicholas, to be exact.

St. Nicholas Russian Orthodox Cathedral is on our block, and they were hosting a festival/bazaar called "A Taste of Old Russia". $3 pirogies and vodka shots. A Miracle, I tell you! God was smiling upon me, as pirogies are widely known to be the best hangover food on the PLANET. Yes, I had to endure church ladies and old priests and little grubby kids, but in reward, I was granted a delicious, so good I thought it was glazed, pirogie.

Things I Dislike: Sweatiness

How do you stay cool when the mercury rises?

My mother always perscribed a healthy dose of "cold movies". We would sit in our dark family room, its windows and blinds having been closed since 7am, and watch movies that took place in icy, snowy locations. This often led to us watching Christmas classics in the midst of summer.

Since I am not spending these dog days under my mother's watch, I have to figure out my own coping mechanisms. Mainly, these consist of short, cold showers, naps, and alcohol. I know booze makes you hotter, but it also makes you sleepy, and then you can just nap away those unpleasent, sweaty afternoons.

Yesterday I went over to the house of pals Megan and Cara. They live off the Hill in a real neighborhood, complete with backyard and large deck. We sunbathed for a few hours, spritzing each other with the hose every few minutes, and listening to top 40 radio. There's nothing like hip hop when you're frying in the sun. We got sleepy and bored, so around 3pm we chopped up mint leaves and made some stroonnnng mojitos. And we kept on mojito-ing through dinner, through our impromptu 90s dance-music singalong, and through a viewing of Clueless. None of us were very coherent by the time 10pm rolled around, as it was at least 90 deg. inside the house even after the sun went down, and we'd been drinking for a solid 6 hours, and we'd probably sweated a good 10 pounds. However, we managed to make the day go by real quick, which is significantly different than how I remember afternoons filled with my mother's cool-down method. So booze, friends and 90s dance parties it is, then!

Post-Grad Life

Since my last post, much has happened for Team Lara.

I moved.
I baccalaureated.
I graduated.
I skinny dipped.

My current roommate, my new roommate, and I all moved in to our new place this past week/weekend. We all have "L" names, and there are two girls and one guy, so naturally all our family members are making Three's Company analogies. The apartment has a great layout, it's totally remodeled inside, and is just steps away from everything I love in Seattle: Molly Moon's, Rancho Bravo, Vita, Victrola, Cal Anderson and Volunteer, Dick's...and the list just goes on and on. We're still getting settled in, but everything is just dandy so far.

My parents and grandpa came up Saturday afternoon to go to Baccalaureate at the cathedral. I'm very glad I went, even thought it was 90 million degrees inside. Heat + graduation robes = bad news bears. That night my family went to La Spiga for din din and we all got a little tipsy off some dandy gin & tonics and red Italian wine. We got a cheese plate, too! Nom nom nom.

Graduation was relaxed, fun, and full of good food. After graduation my parents and I went to a picnic with the families of several good friends, and we spent the day in Volunteer Park. We went out to La Cocina with my aunt, uncle, and cousin that night, and each drank one of their HUGE margaritas. I'm pretty sure we all passed out before 10pm that night from a food and alcohol induced coma.

Monday was spent at Ikea. The family left, and I began organizing all my shiz in the new place.

On Tuesday night there was a birthday party at one friend's place, and then a dance party at the house of L's little sister. L and I went for good times and to say goodbye to our friend G, who has to move back home for the summer :( We went out in style, though, dancing to 90s classics, and then taking an exhilirating drive down to Madison Park in a convertible to go skinny dipping. It was my first time. I wasn't nearly drunk enough. But I had tons of fun, and it felt like the exact thing we all needed to kick off Summer '09.

All in all, it's been a family and friends filled, booze-soaked week, and I'm enjoying being a graduate very much. It's a little weird to wake up every morning and not have anything to do, but I'm learning how to relax, and next week I re-start the great job search!

I like zee Bazeball

A large group of us ladies went to the Mariners game last night. It was a warm, sunny evening, and we ate our hotdogs, drank our beer, and danced to "Louie Louie" like true Americans. We got to participate in several Waves, eat Dippin Dots, and make friends with a family from England, whose adorable young children were trying to figure out the sport of baseball. Unfortunetly, we were not able to provide them with any assistance. We also learned that Major Leaguers have hearts, too: Beltran's favorite movie is Love Actually. Awww. After 2.5 hours, the Mariners won--woo! It was one of the first warm nights we've had, so it was fun to be at a game and run around the city afterward. I can feel summer on its way...

Seattle Nights

You know it's going to be a good night when you and your pals start at Hot Mama's and end at Maharajah.

The beginning of spring quarter is going quite well, if I do say so myself! Happy hour tonight, happy hour tomorrow night, lots of time at work, pretty awesome classes, and LOTS of denial in regards to the future and the state of the economy! Woohoo!

Tonight was a "welcome back to the west coast" kind of night (more on east coast adventures later), and I'm pretty stoked to be back in my home turf. It's all well and good to plan for the future on the east coast, but my heart will always be in these rainy, small, polite cities of the Pac N-Dub. It's home.

I'm looking forward to a great last term in this wonderful city with even more wonderful friends. Cheers!

4 More Months...

Which means that great nights like tonight will start to be more frequent!

Skipping my 3:45 to nap and dress up for happy hour.

Happy hour with due carissime donne italiane.

Pre-view of Romeo and Juliet.

Eating left-overs from my fridge while trying to re-hydrate.

Getting tomorrow's 10am cancelled.

Not reading for tomorrow's 1:30-3:30, but still sure that I can bullshiz something to boost my participation grade.

Planning a happy hour for tomorrow.


In short, I am so over school. Let the great no-school experiment BEGIN!

Nice Stuff from Late January-Early February

I've been busy the last few weeks, and here are the activities I want to give a shout-out to:

The Siena study abroad photography show
Getting funding for Italian Club
Italian conversation group
Housewarming parties
Meeting with Signore Giuseppe
Shopping
MLK weekend
Meeting Rick Steves for the 2nd time
Happy hours (and hours, and hours)
Hanging out in Chardin and making a dinosaur-land scene
Watching one of my best friends kick ass in a rowing competition
Learning to make Panini on my Foreman Grill
Cleaning my room
Making Elephant Ears using tortillas
Going to the Frye
THE INAGURATION/drinking champagne at 9am on a Tuesday and then giving a presentation on Indian politics at 10am
Celebrating Kelsey's 22nd birthday by dressing up as a jungle creature
Brunches
Dinners
Reuninting with Kat
Getting 8 hours of sleep
A couple of great new YouTube videos
Drinking an entire bottle of red wine while watching "The Dutchess"
Doing Crossword puzzles
Compleating my "25 things" survey on Facebook

Yes, all in all, it's been a good few weeks! Jan and Feb are so gray and gloomy that it's easy to forget all the fun things that happen at the start of the quarter. Yay for the start of the quarter, boo for the middle of the quarter, and I hope the end comes soon!

Mmm yummy!

Last week I had happy hour with some pals at a new place on 10th (across from Aveda in the building that they've been renovating for like, EONS). It's called Oddfellow's Cafe. It was an old Oddfellow's Hall, hence the name. The food's great ($6 mac and cheese!!!), they have interesting beer choices, and a really relaxed--without being too casual--atmosphere. Our waiter was very nice and a fellow Oregonian, and he told us that they just opened during the snowstorm, but weather aside, they have been doing good buisness. The place reminds me of a less pretentious Presse. That's not to diss on Presse, because God knows I love my frites, but at Oddfellow's I don't have to experience the shame of mispronouncing some dish and having it turn out to be a simple tomato salad. So that's a plus. It's a really interesting mix of high end food and like, Broadway Grill late-night happy hour fare. I left very happy! A+!

Hello, World!

I've decided to jump on the blog-wagon! I'm exposing the world to Lara's brain...even for the internet, it's pretty shocking.

If you're reading this, I assume you're a member of Team Lara. But here are some fun facts even my most vocal fans may not know about me...

Age: 21

Hometown: Portland, OR and Seaview, WA

Number of first cousins: eleven.

First crush: Leonardo DiCaprio

Strangest crush: Tom Selleck. But only a fully mustachioed Tom Selleck.

Best Halloween costume: big bird, when I was 4.

I hope I am reincarnated as: Heidi Klum.

Secret obsession: people watching.

Guilty pleasure: abbreviating/using text-language. Watching “Gossip Girl”.

My irrational fears are: birds and getting appendicitis.

Essential wardrobe item: pearls and headbands.

Favorite fruit: raspberries

Favorite vegetable: cucumbers

Favorite concert experience: Spice Girls, fifth grade. No contest.

Favorite muppet: it’s a toss up between Count Von Count and Grover.

Favorite drink: Pimms Cup.

Favorite childhood toy: my American Girl Doll, Samantha Parkington.

Favorite expression: cool beans or bomb dot com. I can’t choose.

Favorite holiday: non-religious: the Fourth of July, because it’s the only warm weather holiday. Religious: Easter, because we have two garbage cans full of champagne bottles after Mass.

Least favorite song: “Cotton Eye Joe”:

I’m currently reading: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in Italian.

Thanks for spending your procrastination time reading my blog

Later gators!