Easter

Every year my family goes to midnight mass, as do all our friends, and afterward the parish holds this gigantic feast. Picture Beowulf's Mead Hall scene, but with less bloodshed and more suits and ties. There are like, 4 cafeteria tables worth of goodies including caviar, marinated shrimp, homemade meatballs, smoked salmon, sushi, ham, souvlaki, and more ham. And then in the "Fireside Room" there are 5 tables full of desserts. I'm not joking. Best of all, there are two tables of champagne bottles. There's basically one bottle per person. The first time I got drunk was because of this event, ahh memories!

Anyway, almost every kid I grew up with is there, so it's a crazy reunion party, too. We all get to meet new boy/girlfriends (and judge them), hear about someone's annoyingly perfect younger/older siblings, and complain about that one chick's creepy dad who almost ran one of us over in the parking lot one Easter (true story). We all consume a shit ton of the stuff we gave up for Lent (ie booze, chocolate, candy, meat), feel ill, walk around outside for awhile, then eat and drink some more until we're kicked out by the priest around 1am. It's pretty epic, and I don't really know of any other church that goes as balls-out as mine does for Easter.

Anyway, the Saturday night feast means no one in my family eats (excepting Easter Bunny candy, duh) until Easter dinner with the whole family, at which we consume pretty much the same amount as we did the night before. Except this time we don't have to make small talk with a family friend who used to drive me to soccer practices. This year there was a family contest to see whose Peep could be microwaved the largest. Exploding Peeps are disqualified. We also did a Peep battle, aka Peep Jousting, in which you insert toothpicks into the chests of each Peep, face the Peeps toward each other in the microwave, and see which Peep expands enough to poke the other in the chest with its toothpick first. Mine got second place.

And that was my Easter.