It's Christmas Time in the City

Lots of fun stuff going on!

Last week Christmas movie night at Emily's with Kels and Cara (and hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps). "Eight is a lot of legs, David" and "I hate Uncle Jamie".

Another Christmas movie day--a FULL DAY--with aunt and girl-cousins. We watched the shit out of White Christmas and Holiday Inn. And Nat. Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Family Christmas party with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins

(minus one, who is training back east for the Marines and is trying to fight the snowstorm to make it back to Oregon before shipping out--please, please, please melt, east coast snow). Always the highlight of the holiday season, as it involves a group of ten 20-somethings singing Christmas songs, doing White Elephant exchanges, getting dirt on our parents from slightly tipsy aunts, and trying to sneak booze to younger cousins.

Peacock Lane, a street with 100% participation in Christmas light decorating (super intense, you have to sign a contract when you move in that you'll go all out every year), with Emily, Kels, and Cara. Photos:

Christmas Explosion

My mother's Christmas decorating philosophy is More is More:

HOT DATE

I had a super hot date with MSem tonight. She took me to see this gem:

And if that wasn't one of the best f-ing movies I've seen on the big screen in awhile, well then...I must be a 13 year old girl.

Srsly pals, there was some hot vampire-on-human, werewolf-on-human, vampire-on-werewolf action going on (in a chaste, Morman way, at least). And parts of it were actually quite suspenseful! And I didn't totally hate K.Stew, and R.Patz didn't look too smelly and hobo-esque. But, best of all, despite making me feel like a HUGE COUGAR, was this gentleman, er, boy:
Shit, I didn't even want R.Patz and his sparkly skin to return to the screen once I saw this underage werewolf. Me likey.

Howsomeever, I am annoyed with one thing. Now I can't get this tune out of my head:

PS. Apologies for The Sims animation video. IDK. I couldn't find the actual song sans creepy animation on youtube or hulu. This was the least offensive version. Blerg.

Ripete, per favore?

Here is an amazing video that I watched a lot like, a year ago, and then forgot about, and re-discovered today as I was weeding out my "Favorites" list on youtube. This Italian viral video, originally from the 1970s, is of Adriano Celentano, a Giovanni-of-All-Trades who gained fame in the 1950s and is still owning the Italian spotlight, creating a jibberish rap for a group of studentesse italiane. According to my internet research, it is considered a legit proto-rap; it wasn't just a gimmicky song, apparently. Hmm. Anyway, I only recently (aka 20 minutes ago) learned that its point was not just to create jibberish, but to actually mimic what American English sounds like to non-speakers. So not only is this an amusing video, it's cultural and educational and shit. So watch it.

It brings to mind that game on "Whose Line is it Anyway" when the tall geeky guy Ryan and the little bald Canadian dad-type guy had to do a scene in different "languages", and really they were just saying gibberish with a Polish, Brazilian, French, Icelandic accent and inflection. Right???

Things that Scare Me

I have a long list of things that scare me. I am a fretter, as LSem likes to remind me. However, I think that I am justified* in this fear, which is somewhere around Orange as a Threat Level.

Justin Timberlake Hair Watch-Threat

I'm very concerned that his hair is sliding dangerously back into BoyBand Territory. What will I do if he degenerates into his 19 year old self? Who else will I google during mindless internet

browsing (especially now that Luke Wilson has become sort of schlubby. Have you seen those AT&T ads lately?)?

Anyway, here are 2 photos that represent Mr. JT at his pinnacle of hotness:

#1

#2

And here is the style he is currently rocking:

Now, a lot about this look is GREAT. Glasses, checkered dress shirt, pocket square, well-tailored suit, scruff, and he appears to be holding something that he read/is reading, and anything that points to literacy in a man is always a plus in my book.

However, that hair is dangerously close to this look,

For God's sake, Justin, fight the fro! Fight it with all your little boyband heart!

*see what I did there with that pun? pretty good, right?

My New Addiction

Confession time:

I am obsessed with Glee. And here is perhaps a reason why: in an interview with the LA Times, Lea Michele, aka Rachel Berry, says that she bases her character portrayal off of Tracy Flick and...drumroll, please...BLAIR WALDORF

"Blair? How so?
She is shady, but you still love her. She's still vulnerable. That's what I try to do with Rachel."

And now, please enjoy what I have been playing on constant repeat for the past week:

HER VOICE IS TOO, TOO GOOD. LOVE IT.

Heaven on Earth or a Sign of the Impending Apocalypse?

Christopher Walken sings Gaga's Poker Face. And by "sings" I mean Walken-izes.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND CONCERT

Tonight's concert confirmed my undying love for VW and, especially, front man Ezra Koenig. They put on a great, happy, dance-party, singalong show at the Crystal Ballroom (whose bouncy floors make it perf for the bouncy-dancing that VW inspires), and I think they pleased all the fans with the set list. I can't remember the order, but here's what they played:

*Horchata

*California English

*Cousins

*White Sky

One (Blaaaaaaake's got a new face)

Bryn

A-Punk

M79

Campus

Oxford Comma

Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

Walcott (ending song)

They ended on Walcott because its lyrics beg the listener to "get out of Cape Cod tonight" AKA the venue. IDK. All that really mattered is that I got to see the sweaty, sexy bangs of this man:

FUAHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't even verbalize my love for you and your polo shirt under oxford shirt wearing-self.

PS. He totally geeked out about Powell's, saying it was one of his favorite reasons to visit PDX. We would make such nerdy, attractive English-major-babies together. CALL ME! I FOLLOW YOU ON TWITTER!

Prezzies!

Birthday loot (thus far, supposedly more is on the way via UPS; cough KatieLizMarilyn cough)

Gnome birthday card from company whose products I am obsessed with

Twenty three dollars (thanks, grandpa)

Bigfoot: I not Dead, Graham Romieuartwork of Bigfoot: I not Dead

In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot, Graham Romieu

artwork of In Me Own Words

The Royal Tenenbaums Criterion Collection DVD

Red Forever21 DB Symbol coat (see previous Forever21 post)

White Alpaca Camargo scarf

Victorian Fantasy candle. Smells like bodice-ripping (thanks, Rachel)

Amaryllis plant (thanks, Enrico)

A Day Which Will Live in Infamy

BIRTHDAY

Thanks for all the fun times today, Seattle-ites and Portlanders

Tempted By the Fruit of Another...

Tempted but the truth is discoverrrrrred...

Kayak.com is responsible for my desire to cheat on Portland:

Feb. 9-16

SEATAC --> NYC

$213

Feb. 12 = BFF/NYC dweller M's bday.

MUTHA FUCKAAAA get me on that plane

...What's been goin' on/Now that you have gone/There's no otherrrrr/Tempted by the fruit of another/Tempted but the truth is discovered/I'm at the carpark, the airport, the baggage carousel

Thanks, Thanksgiving!

Dear Thanksgiving Weekend,

Thank you for bringing me so much fun, food, and friend-family-time!

Wednesday:

Roommate L and Roommate's sister M came home to Portland!!!! Sexytimes at Starbucks for the three of us. Almost peed my pants when I saw them waiting for me. Around 10pm Best Friend L came home. Greeted her at her house and drank and watched shitty reality TV with her and her mom.

Thursday:

Woke up late, ate my favorite Nancy's Yogurt, watched National Dog Show, made carrot side dish, went over to grandpa's at 2:30, began eating and drinking at 3:30, drank and played cards with cousins until 1 am. 17 relatives in attendance. This was the night my 10 year old male cousin told me that 23 was too old to have a boyfriend; either I'd have to be married or give up and become a spinster. He also said that you peak at 15. Well, shit, I hope children aren't as wise as people claim them to be.

Friday:

Felt disgusting, watched shitty reality TV with Best Friend L. For the second day in a row went over to grandpa's house at 3, had our traditional Leftovers Dinner, drank a lot, played more games with my cousins, watched new Star Trek movie with my cousins and several aunts and uncles. Enjoyed family time, but was happy to escape to grab drinks with Best High School Friends, K and M. Got pretty sloppy, went to VooDoo Doughnuts to sop up all the liquid in us, went to some dive bar downtown and ran into a ton of high school people, got two free drinks from unattractive yet generous gentlemen, and then didn't have to drive home!!!! Thank god for K having some family shit to do the next morning at 8 and offering to be the DD.

Saturday:

Slept in, massive hang-over, lounged at Best Friend L's until her mother forced us to go pick up the sushi for L's birthday dinner party. FOUND OUT THAT WEST PORTLAND'S WATER HAS E COLI IN IT, ergo did not shower. By this point had not showered since Wednesday*, and probably reek of turkey and alcohol. Best Friend L and I tried to make ourselves look presentable sans water (Jesus H. Christ, are we in Appalachia or what?!!), put on outfits entirely deriving from Forever21, ate a bunch of the sushi before guests came so we got the best rolls, made Lava Lamp Cocktails (pomegranate liquor, champagne, pomegranate seeds--seeds float up and down like a Lava Lamp), childhood friends and all their families attended, which of course meant we drank like fiends, almost puked up birthday cake but continued drinking Cooks, learned disturbing sexual secrets from mothers of childhood friends, drank more to erase those unpleasant revelations, played Yahtzee, picked at leftover cake, drank more, felt relieved when adults left at midnight, put on sweatpants and watched Degrassi with L and two other friends, passed out around 3am for the second night in a row.

Sunday:

Sleep in real, real late. Get woken up by L at 11:30 telling me to get my ass down to her house because her mother is taking us to brunch in NW Portland. Eat scrambled eggs and orange juice because they can't make tea due to the LITERAL SHIT in Portland's water supply. Walk around NW 23rd Ave for several hours. Discover that one of my favorite New York stores, Brooklyn Industries, has its only West Coast location on 23rd. Feel remarkably un-hungover despite, according to L's math, having consumed 2 bottles of champagne by myself. Come home around 4 and nap until 6. Return to L's for dinner. Bum around her house until she has to leave for the airport. Go look at Christmas lights with my parents.

*It is Sunday at 10:45 and I have still not showered. That's right, my friends, 5 days of food and alcohol and no shower. And my hair has never looked better. No joke, totes serious.

My Embarressing Weakness

Forever21

I never feel more self-conscious than when I walk into a Forever21 store because I'm no longer 21. Plus, everyone in there is aspiring to be 21, so I'm like the fucking crypt keeper. I'm terrified of super girly, trendy, popular teenage girls, but I also love Forever21's cheap-ass designer knock-offs, so I fight my crippling shopping anxieties and plow into their rows of sweet, sweet deals.

Anyway, I feel like Forever21 inspires everyone to be whorish. I would never, ever say to myself, "Hmm, a silver sequined, boobies-bearing, mini-dress with a satin ribbon sash sounds like the PERFECT ensemble for me!", but as soon as I step inside Forever21, I find myself drawn to that exact item. And not only drawn to, but actually convinced of the fact that I'd look crazysexycool in it. Catholic confessional moment: I almost bought previously described whore-dress today. I spent a good ten minutes in the dressing room deciding if I wanted to throw away $27.80 on a dress that would just sit in my closet (although just having it in my closet would make me feel cooler, as every time I would look at it I would think, "I can't wait for the fabulouscoolsexytimes party that will someday occur that I will wear this to", and then fantasize about the hot foreign man who will sweep me away in my cheap sequin dress--I know all this because I already own a silver sequin sheath dress from Forever21 that I always meant to wear for New Year's but haven't and just sits in my closet). They don't have a picture of this sequin dress on the Forever21 website, but here are a few other items that caught my eye, but that I didn't purchase because I was showing self-restraint and was only at the mall to buy my best friend a birthday present and nothing for myself. Actually, I did buy a two dollar black fabric braided headband. Headbands are my kryptonite, what can I say.

Junk That Only Me and The 8th Grade Sluts from St. Cecilia's Like:

Sequin Craze Mesh Tunic: $22.80. I try not to buy items that have "mesh" in their title, but LOOK at this. How perfect would it be...if I were a totally different person who lived in LA and partied in hot nightclubs with slutty celebrities on Tuesday nights, right??! Anyway, it's sparkly and caught my attention momentarily. Forgive me.

Double breasted wool dress: $32.80. OMFG it's a Peacoat dress! I'm sure all of you know that I am obsessed with woolly winter coats, so this is pretty much the greatest fucking dress I could ever imagine. If I had any sort of design sensibility (and sewing dexterity) whatsoever, you better believe this is what I would have come up with. Except maybe in grey.

Fab Shoulder Sequin Dress: $15.50. Wait, what--$15.50 for a dress??? Do you get the whole dress, or just like, the front half? Actually, upon closer inspection, the price makes sense, as I'm pretty sure this is what a young tranny ice-capades skater would wear. Furthermore, it makes skinny-ass model girlfriend look pregnant, so god help any non-13 year old, 87 lbs. Forever21 customer who tries this on. I threw this one onto the list for price and my inexplicable attraction to and desire for any sequined, New Years Eve-style dress.

Ruched Front Knit Dress: $27.80. Okay, first of all, you're not fooling anyone with this dress' name, Forever21. Let's call a spade a spade: this is a Herve Leger knock off, and actually kind of a bizarre one, as the "bandage dress" stops at the waist and then becomes like, an empire waist thing, instead of the low, boobie-alert cut of a real Herve Leger. And yet...me likey. I doubt I would actually look good in this, but it intrigues me. And it's $27.80 for god's sake.

Linen Tank Dress: $22.80. I like it's Maria Von Trapp vibe, and you know that as soon as I got drunk I'd be acting all cutesy and swinging the skirt out in the exact manner of this model.

Symbol DB Coat: $47.80. This is a little steep for Forever21. When the prices get above $25, I tend to think, "Why not just go to Gap and something that costs three dollars more, but will last for longer than 3 nights out?". However, this is a really cute coat. In reality, I look shit in lipstick red, but I always delude myself into thinking I'd look killer in it. Sadly, no. I tried this coat on today and, as usual, looked super washed-out in it. Also, what does "Symbol DB" mean? Is it a reference to the symbology in Dan Brown's thrillers?