Christmas "Break"

Technically I do not have a Christmas Break, as I have worked basically every day except Christmas Eve and Day, but it's sure feeling like a G.Ho. Christmas vacation!

All neighborhood friends are home, we shuffle from house to house every few hours, I spent several evenings drinking champagne and eating BFF's mom's cooking, watching Degrassi, and wearing sweats and Ugg slippers...If that's not a description of every G. Ho. Christmas Break since time immemorial, then I don't know what is! I don't want my grown-up world to come back!

Also, it's very nice to be around people who shower as infrequently as I do. Viva la dirty!

Penance

Friends, I have been a bad blogger. Furthermore, I am considering moving my thoughts to Tumblr, as it has a better app for my phone, and therefore I might blog more. Also, addendum to my "furthermore", I feel like this blog was perhaps for college-times, and now that I am in the workforce, perhaps I need something less time consuming. Tumblr seems perfect for my ten minutes of spare time per day. Abandonment of TeamLara seems cruel, though. Hmm...

Twinkle Lights

Merry Christmas

Video Crack

As I watch TV while waiting to go out for the evening, I realize that there are certain movies that, if broacasted, I cannot not watch. Now, this is in no way a list of my favorite movies. These are just movies that are on TV all the time that I love coming across while channel flipping. Here is a list of movies that captivate me every time they're on, even if I just caught a showing of it two days before:

1. Clueless.
2. Titanic.
3. Rudy.
4. Bridget Jones' Diary.
5. Witness.
6. Grease 2
7. You've Got Mail.
8. The Parent Trap (Hayley Mills or LiLo).
9. Jumanji.
10. I Know What You Did Last Summer (parts I and II).

Things I Like #17: Interviews

Okay, here is a confession:

One of my life-long desires is to have someone interview me. I don't just mean like, a two-liner interview in the The Spectator, but like, a 6 page Vanity Fair-style interview spread with long descriptive paragraphs about my facial expressions and recent real estate purchases. Whenever I read interviews I really like, I often come up with my own answers to the questions, or put in my own name in place of the actual interview-ee. Oftentimes, when I'm on a run and not in the zone and want to quit, I play Q and A with myself. When I was little and couldn't fall asleep, I would have an interview session with myself. It's very relaxing.

To clarify, I'm not like, making up a fake life and interviewing myself about the new hit movie I'm in; I always find interviews that delve into celebrities' mundane lives the most interesting, and so I often ask myself questions such as, "What is in your refrigerator?", "I hear you like cats; tell us about your cat", "What is your favorite holiday tradition?", etc. So I'm not that weird, right?! At least I'm not coming up with answers to things like, "Who was a bigger influence on this album, Tupac or Biggy?"!

I find that this interview process is both a) entertaining and b) semi-therapeutic. Perhaps I can de-ego the process and claim that it is exactly what St. Ignatius called for when he prescribed a daily "examination of conscious". Or something. I wholeheartedly recommend incorporating interviews into your weekly routine.

Impending Cat-Lady Status

I'm a little concerned for myself, because last Saturday night my cousin and I read wedding magazines (we didn't purchase them, they are hand-me-downs from our younger cousin's wedding!) from midnight to 4:30 am. Yes, you read that correctly. We drunkenly/sleepily concocted our perfect weddings for 4.5 hours. Spoiler alert: mine's going to be an awesome dance party, so get ready, slash, you'll probably be waiting a long time since my fiancé is of the non-existent variety.

I hope this does not signify 12 cats and a visit from the crew of "Hoarders" are in my future.

Editorial Update

I'm pretty sure the publishing world, from big corporation to tiny press, runs on coffee and alcohol.

Atonement

I have been a horrible blogger as of late, and for this I must repent.

Here's what has been keeping me from teh internetz:

MDawg visiting PDX

Lake Cabin weekend

Vampire Weekend concert

Buying Silly Bandz

Hot tubbing with Maddie

Weekly How I Met Your Mother nights at Emily's

Walking dogs with Katie

Planning a trip to DC/NYC with Lauren

Cousin's [dry] wedding

Trips to Seattle (zoo! booze! pizza!)

Reading the Italian translation of Harry Potter 2

Enrico and Rachel visiting PDX

Working, working, working

Interning, interning, interning

Figuring out WTF I'm doing with my life

The last point is an ongoing project. I feel like now that I'm not in school, I have to start some type of project in September to mark the passage of time in some form other than "long weekend", "end of fiscal year", "birthday"; this year my projects are "apply to international grants", "make yourself impressive" and "work a lot". Too bad you don't get As for projects you assign to yourself. I would kind of like a Life Report Card to know if I'm failing any subjects these days.

"Mickey Lies. Dreams Don't Come True"

"You Sit on a Throne of Lies"

Thus sayeth "Kiran" a four-year-old boy from St. Louis who is the subject of the NYT's article "Can Preschoolers Be Drepressed?" . I'm sure I should be concerned for the future of this child, but really, I'm just entertained by his one-liners. BFF Liz google chatted me some of his gems this morning, and I've been re-reading them ever since.

When Raghu and Elizabeth reminded a downbeat Kiran of their coming trip to Disney World, Kiran responded: “Mickey lies. Dreams don’t come true.”

After toying with a new set of Legos, he told his father, “I can’t do Legos.” He then roundly declared: “I will never do them. I am not a Legos person. You should take them away.”

“My parents care a lot about me,” the first puppet said in an upbeat tone.
“My parents don’t care a lot about me,” the second said in an equally cheerful voice. “How about you?”

“Sometimes they care about me,” the boy replied, and then paused. “They don’t care a lot about me,” he added with emphasis.

Actually, the whole article is rather, er, depressing and fascinating, but if you just look for Kiran's quotes, you'll probably be super entertained...And now I'm going to hell.

Night Drives

In case you were wondering, driving down a street parallel with your cousin, both of you going 30mph with the windows down and blasting the same radio station, is the perfect summer night.

The Best of Friends

I spent 4 hours watching "Friends" on a laptop in Kelsey's new apartment today with Kelsey (duh), her roommate Becca, one of Becca's friends, and Emily. I had forgotten how primo season 2 is. The lobster/Prom video episode, Rachel and Ross bone in the museum, Chandler's new roommate Eddie, TOM SELLECK!, Dr. Drake Ramoray...Jeez. Anyway, it was a lovely morning/afternoon with friends watching "Friends". Here's the season 2 blooper reel to tide me over until I decide if I will be purchasing "The Best of 'Friends'" DVD.

Watching these, who ever thought Jennifer Aniston would become like, the sad-sack of all media? She's adorable!

Here's season 3's bloopers just for giggles:

I like the last part where Ross gets cereal dumped all over his junk.

Drizzle

I went to the beach house this week and played with my Hipstamatic app a lot. It was so gray and rainy all weekend that the manipulations the app makes aren't that exaggerated.

Crossing the Astoria Bridge

Beard's Hollow

View from friend's deck

From Amurrica to Europe

Now that the World Cup is over, where am I supposed to get my necessary daily Rx of sweaty, tan, cursing, neon spandex-wearing, and over-coiffed men?

From Europop, duh.

Here is a blog I just found out about that scouts the interwebs and European radio stations for the latest Europop hits. I spent like, 3 hours reading/watching the site.

Possibly my favorite (and I mean legit favorite, and not "favorite") is "Allez, Ola, Ole" by Jesse Matador, which was a contender for the Eurovision contest. It's really, really catchy and dance-able, and there are awesome outfits in the video.

My "fave" is this Swedish hit: "Peña Colada Boy" by Baby Alice. One of the lines is "And when the sun goes down you make my boobs feel round". Oh jeez, sign me up for more of Baby Alice and her lyrical masterpieces!

And here is a replacement for all the hot soccer boys you're now missing:

God bless Europe.

Amurrica

Friends, I spent this weekend taking advantage of all the freedoms granted to us Amurricans.

I went to the beach house with my whole extended family and spent most of the time tanning on the lawn/beach, walking various dogs, reading old copies of Vogue (articles about Sandra Bullock's perfect marriage are tearjerkers), painting my nails, watching really awesomely bad tv (You're Cut Off, Say Yes to the Dress), discussing our absent cousin's upcoming wedding, and eating. And eating. And eating. Pulled pork, bbq chicken, about 100 bowls of ice cream (I gave up giving up dairy for the weekend), lasagna, about 10 hot dogs...I won't embarrass myself by going into more detail. The only thing to rival my food consumption is my alcohol consumption, which began around 11 am on the 4th and ended around 8pm on the 6th. It's really quite wonderful to have a cousin who is a bartender.

My family is really, really, really into the 4th of July. It's hard to explain. We're not especially patriotic; it's more that we're really big fans of bar-be-ques and huge pyromaniacs. All of us are taught from an early age to love the scent of singed cardboard and the aroma of the Ground Blooming Flower. And, yes, we know all the names of the best fireworks. This year, our favorites included: Release the Beast, Peppermint Patty, Stegosaurus (green flames and dino noises), and Girl Power (2nd photo).

girl power: a zig a zag ahhhh

We went and watched the town firework show on the dunes and named each one as they went off. Some of the better name ideas went from the adorable: Cinderella's Castle, Lily of the Valley, Unicorn horn; to the obscene: Fire Crotch, Sex on the Beach, Taco Bell Food Poisoning. Then everybody came home and set off the aforementioned fireworks in the street for an hour. After that, all of us who are of age and/or morally pliable partook in a little booze-filled family bonding dance party in the backyard. The Olds just loved us the next morning. I haven't been yelled at like that by so many adult relatives since the 4th of July I was 11 and my cousins and I, without telling our parents, walked down to the apocalyptic scene that is the beach post-fireworks show. Oops. Anyway, after smoothing out some family rifts, we spent the day tanning at the beach because it was 73 and not windy, which is like, some kind of miracle. I even got a little tan!

Yesterday my cousin C and I stayed late to enjoy the sunshine and then road tripped back to 90 degree Portland blasting Patsy Cline and other classic Americana music, such as N*SYNC. The drive on Hwy 26 from the Peninsula to Portland is my favorite drive in the world; the sun filters through these huge trees and everything glows. And then, on a slightly deeper level than my love for hot dogs and Popsicles, I was thankful for Amurrica and all its wonders, from sea to shining sea. The end.

Summa Summa Summa tiiiiime

It's summer time, guys. The weather is finally nice, and I have been taking full advantage! Here's stuff I've been up to in the last few weeks:

Saw The Lion King with dad's side of the family. It was AMAZING! Mind was blown. Puppets!

Meow meow meow!

My cousins moved home from Brooklyn and Corvallis, and we've been cavorting around town together. We took my single aunts to dinner at Montage the other night and were rewarded with scandalous stories about our mothers' youths. And by scandalous, I mean pretty tame. But funny.

Dessert night with Em and Kels! Two words: brownie boat. Ok, three: yum.

Toy Story 3 with K, who brought along a bunch of girls from our high school class who she re-met at Yoga. It was weird, but fun. New old friends! I heard lots of gossip. We're doing happy hour next week. Ps. the movie is awesome. Maybe I cried a little.

WORLD CUP! My boss is foreign-born, and therefore legit knowledgeable of and way into soccer, so I get to watch early morning games with him in his back office. He tells me little stories about all the players and doesn't make fun of my interest in teams based upon their uniform colors. Win-win!

Picnic in Laurelhurst park with Kels and Em! There was LARP-ing. What is LARP-ing, you ask? Live-Action Role Playing. Except it wasn't medieval knights; it was a Jane Austen society. We quietly mocked them while secretly feeling jealous of their feathered hats. We also got to work on our tans; and by tans, I mean burns that will fade into some mildly golden, mostly freckled skin.

In the midst of all this fun stuff, there's also been work and internship, both of which are fun, but I won't bore you with deets.

I'm heading to the beach for 4th of July with my extended family, so I'm detoxing this week to prepare for the amazingness of a beach holiday with relatives. Drinks galore!

SUMMER!

Editorial Review

It's amazing what you can find on google image

I've been spending a lot of time at my internship, which I am kinda obsessed with. There are a lot of good things going on there for me: I'm getting experience and confirming that working with lit/the arts is what I want to do with my life. I'm reading some really mind-blowing submissions. I get to interact with very cool, passionate people who are mostly as nerdy and into reading stuff as I am. I get to "belong" to something, to have some sort of sense of community outside of my family and friends. It feels good to interact with a group of people for a common cause, because without even realizing it, that's something I've missed this year. Tonight we had an editorial meeting, and then we all went to get coffee. We got into a discussion about the necessity of the Oxford/Serial comma. For like 20 minutes. Yeah. I'm a little embarressed. But whatever! We're young and literary! Anyway, I promise they're all very normal, nice people. So lit mag is treating me well, and I'm excited to keep reading and being judgmental about authors' tense confusion and split infinitives.

Oregon Trail

After many miles of metaphorical diphtheria, coxing the wagon, and shooting birds, my little pioneers are close to returning to the promised land: Oregon. They had to throw out several boxes of bullets and foodstuffs between Missouri and here, but they've survived! Lots of family and friends are coming home for summer/forever, and I'm stoked! I'm especially excited for my cousins E and C to be here--adventures here we come! They are very silly and enjoy boardgames and the Gidget series as much as me, so it should be a good summer. C is back after 5 years in Brooklyn, and E is here for the summer between graduating and starting a teaching job on an army base in Brussels. Or Bruxelles. Whichever you prefer.

Pretty much the entire East Coast is making the migration out west this summer: L & MDawg from NYC, two friends from DC, one from Connecticut, one from Louisiana, and one from Georgia (not Paula Deene. Dream!). I can't wait to have you all back in the land of plenty, taking manifest destiny by the reigns, tending your tracts of land. Jettison your extra clothes if the oxen are slowing down, but for god's sake, don't take any rest days!

Notes from the Slush Pile

Remember that part when Brad does the Jamaican accent?

While I cannot type out for you here the submissions to the publishing co. I'm interning at due to legal and moral issues, I can describe plots! I was given a pile of submissions to sift through. Most are mediocre. Some are lovely. But only one reached the great height of hilarious horrible-ness. This nameless person, god bless 'em, mailed us a poem that was so exquisitely bad that I immediately wanted to share it with the world, i.e. you guys. Here's the gist:

It's the middle of the night in the 1950s. A mysterious man dressed all in black, save for a white shirt, comes knocking at the young narrator's door. He asks if he can take a tour of the house, as it was listed for sale. The narrator's pajama-wearing parents deny it's availability [and here the poet has some brilliant dialog work that I wish with all my little heart I could re-produce for you. Let's just say there are a lot of exclamation points, dashes and ellipses (although the ellipses are like, 8 periods instead of the standard ...), and at one point the mother says, "my lord no" in italics. ITALICS]. The mysterious visitor shows them a copy of the ad in the real estate pages to prove his claim. Then the young narrator spies the date on the newspaper: it's from 15 years in the future! AHHHH! There are several line breaks, marked by asterisks, and then the narrator tells the reader that several years passed and eventually the house DID go for sale--the same year that the future-paper predicted! line break, asterisks, followed by ellipses--Why did the house go for sale? Because mamma died exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point.

A perfect blend of Hitchcock, Goosebumps, and the under-rated 1990s masterpiece Meet Joe Black, no????????.......*******----.....!!!!!!!!!

Wedding Skanks and Mullets

Yesterday Kelsey, Emily, Emily's roommate Mandy, and I spent the day at Laurelhurst park, where we engaged in some heavy people watching. Laurelhurst has a wonderful mix of normal families, young people like myself, and freak-a-leeks. Obvi the weird people are the best for people watching, but it's fun to watch families parade around in their smugness, too. One particular family had a ginger baby. It was terrifying. Which led us to wonder WTF gingers look like when they start to go grey. Do they just look like albinos? Do they retain their red eyebrows? Mind-boggling.

Other great observations from yesterday:

1. A skanky wedding!!!! A D-Bag was marrying a Trout Pout skabimbo (skank + bimbo, if you were wondering). He had frosted tips, she had orange skin. It was obviously a match made in heaven. The wedding colors were teal (like pool-blue teal) and brown. Did not work so well with the groom's platinum highlights. The wedding party were all shot-gunning Red Bulls while the groom and bride were getting pics taken. I can only aspire to this state of perfection.
2. A super hot step-dad/partner/boyfriend there with his lady-love and her daughter. His name was Asa. Kelsey thought he was Jewish, Emily thought he was Brazilian, and I just thought he was really good looking. We spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out their family situation and staring at him. Oh, Asa.
3. Lots of dogs in ridiculous outfits. WHY?
4. A lot of mullets. For whatever reason, mullets are still popular in pockets of Portland.
5. Have you ever noticed that sometimes it's hard to tell the height of an adult when s/he is next to a child? It's really hard to tell if they're super tall or just with a kid. Which is why we were contemplating the idea of a blog called "Tall or With Child?".
6. Weird old guy practicing tai chi across from us. He also had a mullet.
7. An Andrew Dean look-alike. I hope all of you SU readers can appreciate how amazing spotting this creature was for K, E, and I.

That was pretty much it for people watching in the park, although we did get in some more top-notch observations while drinking in the McMenamin's outdoor seating of their Hawthorne Blvd. branch, The Bagdad. We practically had to cut a beez for our prim-o seats, but it was so worth it, because Hawthorne was full of crazies last night, like a woman wearing tie-dye and acid washed jeans, and rocking a mullet. Oh, Oregon.

BUpdate

BUpdate = butt update, in case you were confused.

My butt surgery went well, post-op healing kinda blows, but Vicodin is keeping me company, as are some nice goodies that family and friends have given me. Here's a list of all the sweet swag I've received because of my status as a weakling.

1. The entire stock of Costco. Seriously, Mama Jones went to town on Costco and bought more food that a Midwestern family of 6 could eat in a month. Bagels and Sun Chips for life!
2. Flowers from 1-800-Flowers. MDawg was a total champ and got a bouquet to my house like, 5 minutes after I texted her that my butt was going to go under the knife. My favorite part of her note is the sentence "Sorry about your butt". What a pal!
3. "Cruel Intentions" DVD from my cousin. Best sick-day movie EVER.
4. A purple sparkly nail file from The Body Shop. My mom actually said this: "You can still be a diva even if your butt is broken!". God. Sometimes my mom rocks pretty hard.
5. The most adorable chocolates ever, from my padre (and Moonstruck):

Thanks, friends and family! Most of all, thanks for all your well-wishes and concern!

Things I Like # 16

Perfect Sundays

Sometimes Sundays suck, like if you hate your job and know Monday is eminent, or if you're a student and have a term paper looming over your hungover shoulder. But if you don't hate your job and you're out of school, Sundays can be pretty great. This weekend I had a perfect Sunday:

My blinds in my bedroom are super dark, so when I opened the blinds to sun it was a wonderful surprise! Anyway, woke up late to a sunny day, toasted my pre-brunch slice of toast to a crispy perfection, did a crossword puzzle, showered for the first time in a day or two, picked out a cute dress, and got picked up for brunch by K (I didn't even have to drive!). We went to the Laurelhurst/Belmont area to eat at The Screen Door , which has delish modern-Southern fare. We had to wait for an hour to get in, but spent that time outside chatting with young men, so even waiting was pleasurable on my perfect Sunday, you guys! Once seated, K and I pulled our usual brunch scheme of ordering the two dishes we can't choose between and splitting them evenly. We missed our third musketeer, M, who usually orders the healthy dish and gives our meal some substance, counteracting our orders of like, strawberry and mascarpone stuffed French Toast or a fatty Cinnamon roll. So what I'm saying is that K and I ordered biscuits and gravy and a praline and bacon-strip covered waffle. Yeah. Therefore we spent the rest of the afternoon waddling around Laurelhurst ooh-ing over cute babies (sidenote: I wish I could wear children's clothes. I would kill for this dress) and adorable houses. And then we found the fruits of K's labors:

K literally spent half of her first year of real-world work figuring out what streets had potholes and deciding where on those streets to put up signs addressing that problem. God bless her little Enginerd heart. We were pretty thrilled when we found one of her signs. After our adventures in NE Portland, we went to my house and passed out on our patio in deck chairs until it started to get cold and we started to get cranky from food-fatigue. Once K left, I pulled on my ratty yoga pants and watched "Cruel Intentions". PERFECT SUNDAY!

Health Update

I have some bad news for TeamLara members:

I bruised my coccyx. Yes, that's right, my tailbone is bruised.

I have no idea how I did it, but it wasn't a drunk accident, and the chiropractor at my work said that it was quote "kind of normal" to not remember serious bruise trauma. I have a contusion the size of a grape. How do you not remember that?? But anyway, it'll take about 6 weeks to stop hurting, and in the mean time I have to alternate icing and heating my ass. I know I have a reputation for being a huge baby and hypochondriac, but this things seriously hurts. It hurts more than when I sprained my ankle. It turns out the spine is kinda important to your well-being, so please, I urge you, take care of your own, lest you end up like me, sitting on a donut pillow.

Professor Falafel

Falafel

+

Professor

=

The Sublime

Last night was an epic Portland experience; a cheap bar off Hawthorne followed by the best falafel I've ever had, served to me by a young, hot falafel-maker. I don't know his name, but we bestowed upon him the nomiker "Professor Falafel", which turned into "Doc Falaf" (we wanted it to rhyme like "Doc Oc" real bad, but it just wasn't happening). I believe this started by me telling him, "You're so good at falafel making, I bet you have a PhD in it". Doc Falaf, I'll be back; keep that falafel griddle warm for me.

Let's Get Modern

The below video has been making its way through the blogosphere this week, but nonetheless, I wanted to post it, mostly just to have an easy link back to it.

I love the MoMA, it's 100% my favorite museum (ohhh, nerd alert), and it makes me really happy to see lots of my favorite paintings in one video without the ubiquitous YouTube background music, i.e. Ke$ha. So, enjoy!

Dance Party

Last night's Passion Pit concert = me sweating off 5 lbs. in a dance frenzy and enduring tinnitus.

Easter

Every year my family goes to midnight mass, as do all our friends, and afterward the parish holds this gigantic feast. Picture Beowulf's Mead Hall scene, but with less bloodshed and more suits and ties. There are like, 4 cafeteria tables worth of goodies including caviar, marinated shrimp, homemade meatballs, smoked salmon, sushi, ham, souvlaki, and more ham. And then in the "Fireside Room" there are 5 tables full of desserts. I'm not joking. Best of all, there are two tables of champagne bottles. There's basically one bottle per person. The first time I got drunk was because of this event, ahh memories!

Anyway, almost every kid I grew up with is there, so it's a crazy reunion party, too. We all get to meet new boy/girlfriends (and judge them), hear about someone's annoyingly perfect younger/older siblings, and complain about that one chick's creepy dad who almost ran one of us over in the parking lot one Easter (true story). We all consume a shit ton of the stuff we gave up for Lent (ie booze, chocolate, candy, meat), feel ill, walk around outside for awhile, then eat and drink some more until we're kicked out by the priest around 1am. It's pretty epic, and I don't really know of any other church that goes as balls-out as mine does for Easter.

Anyway, the Saturday night feast means no one in my family eats (excepting Easter Bunny candy, duh) until Easter dinner with the whole family, at which we consume pretty much the same amount as we did the night before. Except this time we don't have to make small talk with a family friend who used to drive me to soccer practices. This year there was a family contest to see whose Peep could be microwaved the largest. Exploding Peeps are disqualified. We also did a Peep battle, aka Peep Jousting, in which you insert toothpicks into the chests of each Peep, face the Peeps toward each other in the microwave, and see which Peep expands enough to poke the other in the chest with its toothpick first. Mine got second place.

And that was my Easter.

Lime Time

We had a fun, sexy time celebrating Lauren's bday

Way Cuter than that Cupcake Song Kid

OTTERS HOLDING HANDS!

Commence with the "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" in 3...2...1...

Did you know that Otters are my favorite non-domesticated animal? In 3rd grade we were assigned to write our very first reports on endangered animals, and I got Sea Otters. After extensive academic research in the St. Clare Elementary School library, I decided I would love them forever. And I have.

Here are some more Otter pics, just in case you're having a bad day and need a pick-me-up in the form of a cuddle monster who smells like abalone

What a Gleeful Weekend

Well friends, this weekend was full of glee--in the sense of happiness and the seminal musical-television dramedy, Glee.

Friday

Breakfast and hanging out with my cousin, home for spring break

Spring cleaning

Chillin in the sunshine

Saturday

Dog walking in the sunshine

11 year old cousin's birthday dinner BBQ with extended family

Reunion with Roommate and Roommate's Sister

Portland bar

McFlurries

Glee soundtrack sing-a-long in the LaraMobile

Sunday

Run in the sunshine

Family brunch

Bartini happy hour with all the Portland girls

Milling around NW 23rd and trying on kinda skanky dresses at 3Monkeys

Looking at all the cute houses that we want to live in

Singing to Glee soundtrack with said Portland girls in the LaraMobile on a drive around NW

So, in keeping with the theme of this weekend, here is one of the best songs from our beloved Glee:

I've Made a Huge, Tiny Mistake...

In not attending this event

Apparently in 2008 there was a concert by the musical director of Arrested Development. He sang all the show's finest gems live. Here are the ones I've found on the 'tube

Theme song

Big Yellow Joint

The Franklin Song

Mr. F

Here's a bonus, just for giggles:

Sadly, no performances of "Motherboy" were uploaded.

"Gimme Your Best Gnome Face"

...And with those words a beautiful photo was taken. It took me months to get my hands on this pic, but now it is finally mine!

We're the cutest woodland gnomes in the world

This Time Last Week...

I was consuming a Red Mill double bacon burger with Roommate and several awesome pals. If time travel becomes possible, I'd like to return to that lovely Sunday and re-experience the miracle that occurred: no hang-over despite drinking a jug of Carlo Rossi sangria. Call the Vatican!

Seattle Weekend events

Friday:

Get into town, Roommate is working, go to birthday dinner for study abroad friend

Have my biannual drink and dance in Belltown with study abroad friends event

Meet up with Roommate at home, and instead of saying hi, tell her, "I'm so drunk" as a greeting

Saturday

Roommate works

Brunch with Neighbs

H&M

Watch "Hairspray" with Roommate

Make dinner with some friends

We suddenly get popular and the apt. is filled with about 15 people

I proceed to get real intoxicated on Carlo Rossi Sangria

Everyone follows my lead

Go to a party at friend's house, and it's actually quite the see-and-be-seen event

Randoms attend party, try to start a dance-a-thon, and I awkwardly decline by telling them I have to get back to the wine

Sunday

We are surprisingly WIDE AWAKE & LOVING LIFE, despite going to be at 3:30am

Roommate and I discuss the epic events of the night before

Trek to Red Mill Burgers with Roommate and friends K, E, and E

Force friends to bear with Roommate and I singing along to the Glee Soundtrack

We realize that everyone born in '86-'88 knows all the words to Paul Simon's "Graceland" album as it was a favorite of every single parent to play on car rides

Everyone waves me goodbye as I drive off into the sunset

Thanks for a wonderful weekend, I miss you already, Capitol Hill friends! And see you soon if I figure out that whole time-travel thing.

Things I Like #15

Ebelskivers (eh-bull-skeev-ers)

These are Nordic pancakes, traditionally served at Christmas, but delicious year-round. Apparently people in those icy northern countries don't eat them for breakfast like Americans do, but as a dessert. Weird. Obvi they are a breakfast food! Anyway, they're sometimes filled with jam or chocolate, and sometimes they are just dough balls that you dip in jam or chocolate or syrup or whatever pleases you, really. My uncle makes them every Christmas morning, and my cousins and I eat them like they're filled with crack instead of raspberry preserves. They're a pain to make because it's a bitch to flip them in their little griddles (although the below photo from Williams Sonoma shows an excellent technique with chopsticks that I will have to suggest to my uncle the next time I see him), and the first few batches usually burn or don't cook all the way, but damn, if they aren't totally worth it! Seriously, you can eat like 40 of these. One year we had a contest to see how many we could eat before feeling like we'd barf. One cousin made the unfortunate mistake of washing them down with sparkling cider, and the combination of several dozen jelly-filled ebelskivers with the sweetly carbonated beverage was disastrous. We got in trouble and were banished to the day-light basement until dinner.

Somewhere Out There...

I get to visit Seattle next weekend, and just thinking about it makes me feel all itchy (in a good way) about seeing Roommate. I CAN'T WAIT. Here are some reasons why I'm so amped:

Eliza Thornberry

We were such babies!

This is a pretty perfect depiction of our RoomateLove

Things you find out about someone after living w/them for 3.5 yrs: tucks pants into socks

Patron saint of our abodes. Libations must be made!

Craft time=happy time

And if I was a songwriter, here's what I'd write about our separation:

Coraggio

Teammates, I was super coraggiosa last night. I went to an Italian language conversation group for the first time. It was scary and fantastico! It's led by an old Neapolitan broad named Lucia who has the big hair, flowy dark clothes, and kick ass jewelry that many Italian women of 50+ years rock like its their uniform.

There were mostly olds in attendance; a 50-ish woman who bitched about health care in English (but who did speak good Italian), and a similarly aged man who knew like, 10 words and 2 verbs, and literally got up to leave the group because he was getting a phone call from his mamma. BUT there was also a 70-ish year old man and his wifey who were bona fide Italiani. They were super duper. Amazing clothes, funny, lots of attitude, gave me life advice, encouraged me to try a very detailed recipe for some sort of pesto, told me I was young and adorable...Does it get much better than that? I want to adopt them!

Speaking of people I want to join my family...

My favorite group member: 30-ish hottie who is a farmer (Christmas trees). He told me in Italian how he helps build sets for his little town's high school theater program and that he is good with his hands. MARRY ME. We talked in Italian for like, 30 minutes, which is longer than I can usually hold a conversation with a male in English. We totally bonded. I will be attending this gruppo again, if you had any doubt.

But srsly, I'm pretty proud of myself for going, because it's scary to A) go into a totally unknown situation by yourself, and B) speak a foreign language with strangers. I'm a much more adventurous and brave person when I travel, and I felt like last night was something I'd be bold enough to do as a traveler, but not in my regular life; it felt good to push myself toward the fearlessness that I know I'm capable of having. I like my TravelLara persona. And within 2 minutes of joining the group I realized that I've missed speaking Italian and using the part of my brain that retains fabulous words such as calcolatrice (calculator), amaca (hammock), and pouf imbottito (bean bag chair).

Lucia told me to come back again, and she also encouraged me to come to a different Italian language group that meets at some lady's house. They serve food in that group, so I'm already warming to the idea of attending.

Happy Bday, Prezzies!

Printable coloring page I found on the Crayola website

Dear Presidents Washington & Lincoln,

Thank you for being born and cultivating extra-special qualities so that you'd one day become Leaders of the Free World and whatnot, because without you two lovely gents, my weekend wouldn't have been quite as fun.

Friday

Family members descend upon Portland for Grandpa's birthday

Lasagna and red wine at aunt and uncle's abode

OLYMPICS MADNESS with family

Saturday

All day cousin madness includes breakfast, present shopping for grandpa, Olympics watching, spaghetti sauce making, drinking

Spaghetti dinner

Yahtzee. I totally pwn one of my aunts

Cousin teaches me how to use a Kindle. I decide that if the device wasn't totally massacring my intended career field, I would like to buy one

Drinking

Cake, ice cream, presents

OLYMPICS MADNESS with family

Sunday

Really lazy morning

Parents give me Valentine's Day cards, some candy, and heart-printed boxers

K and E and I have a massive Valentine's Day lady-day: mimosas, chick flicks, mini-quiches, dark chocolate M&Ms, popcorn, tortilla chips and guac, etc. We laze around E's apt. in mimosa-induced sleepiness all afternoon

K & I speaker-phone call M in NYC to hear about her scandalous love life. Act like 13 year olds on a three way call

Left-overs dinner with grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins

Wii sports tournament

OLYMPICS MADNESS. I fall in love with this male ice skater

Monday

Brunch at my fave place EVER with the entire family because it's my grandpa's actual bday

AT&T store to look at iPhones because my 2 year contract is up

Eat Valentine's Day candy

Play outside because it's BEAUTIFUL WEATHER

Give puppies a bath

Watch Westminster Dog Show

Things I Like #14

Love

To celebrate Valentine's Day, here is a list of my former romances

The Loves of Lara

Lance Bass

So he turned out to be gay, whatevs, he was super hot in the mind of 12 year old Lara. I don't regret a second of my obsession with Mr. Bass. None of those moments spent pondering his spikey hair or green eyes are considered wasted.

Bert from Mary Poppins

Fashionable, artistic, tells good jokes, British accent, dexterous, limber dancer, flirtatious, nice singing voice, dirty, grimey...what's not to like???

Paul Walker

I still think you're really, really, ridiculously pretty

Dad from The Parent Trap (aka Brian Keith)

So he's kind of old, but he also owned a kick-ass ranch house in California, and when I was 8 I wanted to marry him and spend my afternoons swimming in his pool with him and his twin daughters

Moon Doggie, love interest in Gidget (aka Bobby Darren)

Moon Doggie, I secretly loved you more than anyone else, even more than Leo and Lance, which is saying a lot

Leo

Let's just take a minute of silence to appreciate the beauty that was 1990s Leonardo DiCaprio
NEVER LET GO...of that awesome hairstyle that made 11 year old me totally enamored

Joey Harrington

Who is this?, you may ask. Very well, I will explain. He is currently an NFL player, but back in the day he played football for Portland's Central Catholic High School and U of O. You were forbidden fruit, because I was destined to attend CCHS's rival high school. One time, in 7th grade, I stood on the sidelines at PGE park during a high school play-off game, and you walked by and gave me a high five. I can still feel the sting of your hand slapping mine. It was magical.

Han Solo (aka Harrison Ford)

Was there any girl who did not fall in love with you when their Dad first made them watch Star Wars in like, 4th grade? My Dad thought I liked the Ewoks, but it was really you who I thought cutest of them all

Freddie Prinze Jr.

I still own a copy of She's All That on VHS. Your hair achieved spikey heights no other 1990s teen heartthrob could manage. I loved you so much I suffered through that stupid baseball movie you were in with weird-0 face Matthew Lillard, and the one in NYC where that blond chick thought you were a serial killer, and both Scooby Doos

Brian from BSB

You had a hole in your heart (ventricular septal defect), and I knew I could fill it with my love