29 November 2009

Thanks, Thanksgiving!

Dear Thanksgiving Weekend,

Thank you for bringing me so much fun, food, and friend-family-time!

Wednesday:
Roommate L and Roommate's sister M came home to Portland!!!! Sexytimes at Starbucks for the three of us. Almost peed my pants when I saw them waiting for me. Around 10pm Best Friend L came home. Greeted her at her house and drank and watched shitty reality TV with her and her mom.

Thursday:
Woke up late, ate my favorite Nancy's Yogurt, watched National Dog Show, made carrot side dish, went over to grandpa's at 2:30, began eating and drinking at 3:30, drank and played cards with cousins until 1 am. 17 relatives in attendance. This was the night my 10 year old male cousin told me that 23 was too old to have a boyfriend; either I'd have to be married or give up and become a spinster. He also said that you peak at 15. Well, shit, I hope children aren't as wise as people claim them to be.

Friday:
Felt disgusting, watched shitty reality TV with Best Friend L. For the second day in a row went over to grandpa's house at 3, had our traditional Leftovers Dinner, drank a lot, played more games with my cousins, watched new Star Trek movie with my cousins and several aunts and uncles. Enjoyed family time, but was happy to escape to grab drinks with Best High School Friends, K and M. Got pretty sloppy, went to VooDoo Doughnuts to sop up all the liquid in us, went to some dive bar downtown and ran into a ton of high school people, got two free drinks from unattractive yet generous gentlemen, and then didn't have to drive home!!!! Thank god for K having some family shit to do the next morning at 8 and offering to be the DD.

Saturday:
Slept in, massive hang-over, lounged at Best Friend L's until her mother forced us to go pick up the sushi for L's birthday dinner party. FOUND OUT THAT WEST PORTLAND'S WATER HAS E COLI IN IT, ergo did not shower. By this point had not showered since Wednesday*, and probably reek of turkey and alcohol. Best Friend L and I tried to make ourselves look presentable sans water (Jesus H. Christ, are we in Appalachia or what?!!), put on outfits entirely deriving from Forever21, ate a bunch of the sushi before guests came so we got the best rolls, made Lava Lamp Cocktails (pomegranate liquor, champagne, pomegranate seeds--seeds float up and down like a Lava Lamp), childhood friends and all their families attended, which of course meant we drank like fiends, almost puked up birthday cake but continued drinking Cooks, learned disturbing sexual secrets from mothers of childhood friends, drank more to erase those unpleasant revelations, played Yahtzee, picked at leftover cake, drank more, felt relieved when adults left at midnight, put on sweatpants and watched Degrassi with L and two other friends, passed out around 3am for the second night in a row.

Sunday:
Sleep in real, real late. Get woken up by L at 11:30 telling me to get my ass down to her house because her mother is taking us to brunch in NW Portland. Eat scrambled eggs and orange juice because they can't make tea due to the LITERAL SHIT in Portland's water supply. Walk around NW 23rd Ave for several hours. Discover that one of my favorite New York stores, Brooklyn Industries, has its only West Coast location on 23rd. Feel remarkably un-hungover despite, according to L's math, having consumed 2 bottles of champagne by myself. Come home around 4 and nap until 6. Return to L's for dinner. Bum around her house until she has to leave for the airport. Go look at Christmas lights with my parents.
*It is Sunday at 10:45 and I have still not showered. That's right, my friends, 5 days of food and alcohol and no shower. And my hair has never looked better. No joke, totes serious.

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