Summer Camp Chic

Friends, I have not posted in many a moon. My apologies. I have broken my hiatus to tell you of my summer time obsessions, all of which revolve around the basics of summer camp. I was a camp fanatic, attending the lovely CYO Camp Howard from age 8 to 14. Every summer since my last camp experience I have missed being in the woods with a bunch of friends playing capture the flag and drinking bug juice all day, and therefore I try to bring the essentials of camp into regular summertime living:

1. Shower less. This is essential. You must have achieve the perfect scent of sunscreen, chlorine/lake water, and Clinique Happy as much as your day job will allow. And you'll be amazed at what you can get done in the ten extra minutes in your day if you eliminate showering (I'm not advertising to shower only once a week, but like, get it down to 3 or 4 times).
2. Engage in water activities. Wear out a swim suit. Plus, if you're following rule#1, it's really necessary to be in the water more, ya know? If you're in a chlorinated pool, rinsing off is permissable and not considered part of your 3-4 showers/week.
3. Devote yourself to perfecting an art/craft. My art/craft of choice is the ever-popular friendship bracelet. I'm an excellent braider. Potlatches, boondoggles, crayon-wax candles, dream catchers, and stamped leather keychains are other excellent options.
4. Share a book among friends. I mean this quite literally: buy a popular book-of-the-moment and share the single copy among a few friends. Make sure it gets kinda ragged and dodgy by the end of summer. Bonus points for sun-faded jacket covers and water marks.
5. Make new friends (but keep the old...silver, gold, etc.)
6. Go to karaoke; this fulfills the singing around a campfire requirement of camp
7. Practice an outdoor physical activity at least once a day; running, adult league kickball, biking, soccer, swimming (my preference, see point #2). You'll get a sexy lean bod and a deep tan!
8. Do your nails once a week. Weird colors only. What other season can you get away with neon orange? None! So take advantage!
9. Have sleepovers with friends. Non-negotiable. You need to have so many sleepovers that you get sick of your friends but then when you part ways the next day feel a sucking black hole of loss. Or, you know, something less middle-school intense.
10. Try to turn off the tv, shut down the computer, and put the iphone on silent. Technology was contraband at camp for two reasons: it's expensive and if you break it your parents will be pissed and might sue, and it interferes with friend-bonding and nature-loving. It does!
11. Take lots of pictures. These memories are precious, campers!
12. Do something scandalous. At camp it was sneaking from the girls' section to the boys' section or stealing extra desserts and eating them after lights out. Translate these activities to adult terms.
13. Become adventerous. This is akin to the above suggestion. At camp you'd run around in the woods during capture the flag, or go on an all day hike, or ask that special someone to dance at the End of Summer Social. Go out of your comfort zone!
14. Have a campfire. Except this time you can be drunk and can roast as many marshmallows as you want!
15. Go on an overnight! Go camping for one night and sleep outside. You can do this in your backyard if you are lazy and/or broke. It's preferrable if you can go to like, a state park campsite and pay 30 bucks to set up a tent and drink your PBRs amongst the trees.

These are my suggestions for a successful session of adult summer camp! Just guidelines, feel free to adapt to your own needs

Identity Crisis

Okay, I just found out that the Zodiac has been changed to include a 13th sign that was part of the traditional Babylonian panoply. Thus, many of us now have new signs. My dad is no longer a Pisces, but an Aquarius, for instance.

I mean, yes it sucks to have your sign shift, but you guys, my situation resulting from this change is worse.

I am the new 13th sign.

It's called Ophiuchus. First of all, that word sounds like "mucus". Second of all, WHO AM I?! My whole life I have been told I am a classic Sagittarius. Here are some Sagittarian characteristics:

Interested in expanding horizons through traveling abroad, learning foreign languages, or immersing themselves in unique cultures. These individuals thrive on higher education. They tend to be optimistic and have a great capacity for faith, as it is this good-natured faith that usually plays into their fortunate endeavors. Fiery enthusiasm, blunt sincerity, honest convictions, love of independence, adventurous, enjoy the outdoors, joyful, and outgoing (thanks, Wikipedia).

That just summed up yours truly, no?

But apparently NOT!

So who am I now, if not a joyful, blunt, traveler?

NO ONE KNOWS! In an hour of intensive internet research on characteristics of the Ophiuchus, I could not find one site with a list of qualities. Not only must I shed my Sagittarian identity, I have to deal with my new Zodiac sign being a total tabula fucking rasa. This may result in years of therapy.

Ca-cawwwwww

I saw "Black Swan" last night with my cousins.

I was stressed out for like, 3 hours after seeing it. I wasn't scared at all during the movie, I was just seriously stressed out. I think the perfectionist in me was especially terrified, as the picking at skin around fingernails is maybe something I do--what if it's a gateway behavior?! What if I turn into a psychologically tortured, cake-refusing, infantilized, barfing, skin-scratching prima ballerina?! It could happen. It's a fine line between functioning perfectionism and psycho, you guys.

Christmas "Break"

Technically I do not have a Christmas Break, as I have worked basically every day except Christmas Eve and Day, but it's sure feeling like a G.Ho. Christmas vacation!

All neighborhood friends are home, we shuffle from house to house every few hours, I spent several evenings drinking champagne and eating BFF's mom's cooking, watching Degrassi, and wearing sweats and Ugg slippers...If that's not a description of every G. Ho. Christmas Break since time immemorial, then I don't know what is! I don't want my grown-up world to come back!

Also, it's very nice to be around people who shower as infrequently as I do. Viva la dirty!

Penance

Friends, I have been a bad blogger. Furthermore, I am considering moving my thoughts to Tumblr, as it has a better app for my phone, and therefore I might blog more. Also, addendum to my "furthermore", I feel like this blog was perhaps for college-times, and now that I am in the workforce, perhaps I need something less time consuming. Tumblr seems perfect for my ten minutes of spare time per day. Abandonment of TeamLara seems cruel, though. Hmm...

Twinkle Lights

Merry Christmas

Video Crack

As I watch TV while waiting to go out for the evening, I realize that there are certain movies that, if broacasted, I cannot not watch. Now, this is in no way a list of my favorite movies. These are just movies that are on TV all the time that I love coming across while channel flipping. Here is a list of movies that captivate me every time they're on, even if I just caught a showing of it two days before:

1. Clueless.
2. Titanic.
3. Rudy.
4. Bridget Jones' Diary.
5. Witness.
6. Grease 2
7. You've Got Mail.
8. The Parent Trap (Hayley Mills or LiLo).
9. Jumanji.
10. I Know What You Did Last Summer (parts I and II).

Things I Like #17: Interviews

Okay, here is a confession:

One of my life-long desires is to have someone interview me. I don't just mean like, a two-liner interview in the The Spectator, but like, a 6 page Vanity Fair-style interview spread with long descriptive paragraphs about my facial expressions and recent real estate purchases. Whenever I read interviews I really like, I often come up with my own answers to the questions, or put in my own name in place of the actual interview-ee. Oftentimes, when I'm on a run and not in the zone and want to quit, I play Q and A with myself. When I was little and couldn't fall asleep, I would have an interview session with myself. It's very relaxing.

To clarify, I'm not like, making up a fake life and interviewing myself about the new hit movie I'm in; I always find interviews that delve into celebrities' mundane lives the most interesting, and so I often ask myself questions such as, "What is in your refrigerator?", "I hear you like cats; tell us about your cat", "What is your favorite holiday tradition?", etc. So I'm not that weird, right?! At least I'm not coming up with answers to things like, "Who was a bigger influence on this album, Tupac or Biggy?"!

I find that this interview process is both a) entertaining and b) semi-therapeutic. Perhaps I can de-ego the process and claim that it is exactly what St. Ignatius called for when he prescribed a daily "examination of conscious". Or something. I wholeheartedly recommend incorporating interviews into your weekly routine.

Impending Cat-Lady Status

I'm a little concerned for myself, because last Saturday night my cousin and I read wedding magazines (we didn't purchase them, they are hand-me-downs from our younger cousin's wedding!) from midnight to 4:30 am. Yes, you read that correctly. We drunkenly/sleepily concocted our perfect weddings for 4.5 hours. Spoiler alert: mine's going to be an awesome dance party, so get ready, slash, you'll probably be waiting a long time since my fiancé is of the non-existent variety.

I hope this does not signify 12 cats and a visit from the crew of "Hoarders" are in my future.

Editorial Update

I'm pretty sure the publishing world, from big corporation to tiny press, runs on coffee and alcohol.

Atonement

I have been a horrible blogger as of late, and for this I must repent.

Here's what has been keeping me from teh internetz:

MDawg visiting PDX

Lake Cabin weekend

Vampire Weekend concert

Buying Silly Bandz

Hot tubbing with Maddie

Weekly How I Met Your Mother nights at Emily's

Walking dogs with Katie

Planning a trip to DC/NYC with Lauren

Cousin's [dry] wedding

Trips to Seattle (zoo! booze! pizza!)

Reading the Italian translation of Harry Potter 2

Enrico and Rachel visiting PDX

Working, working, working

Interning, interning, interning

Figuring out WTF I'm doing with my life

The last point is an ongoing project. I feel like now that I'm not in school, I have to start some type of project in September to mark the passage of time in some form other than "long weekend", "end of fiscal year", "birthday"; this year my projects are "apply to international grants", "make yourself impressive" and "work a lot". Too bad you don't get As for projects you assign to yourself. I would kind of like a Life Report Card to know if I'm failing any subjects these days.

"Mickey Lies. Dreams Don't Come True"

"You Sit on a Throne of Lies"

Thus sayeth "Kiran" a four-year-old boy from St. Louis who is the subject of the NYT's article "Can Preschoolers Be Drepressed?" . I'm sure I should be concerned for the future of this child, but really, I'm just entertained by his one-liners. BFF Liz google chatted me some of his gems this morning, and I've been re-reading them ever since.

When Raghu and Elizabeth reminded a downbeat Kiran of their coming trip to Disney World, Kiran responded: “Mickey lies. Dreams don’t come true.”

After toying with a new set of Legos, he told his father, “I can’t do Legos.” He then roundly declared: “I will never do them. I am not a Legos person. You should take them away.”

“My parents care a lot about me,” the first puppet said in an upbeat tone.
“My parents don’t care a lot about me,” the second said in an equally cheerful voice. “How about you?”

“Sometimes they care about me,” the boy replied, and then paused. “They don’t care a lot about me,” he added with emphasis.

Actually, the whole article is rather, er, depressing and fascinating, but if you just look for Kiran's quotes, you'll probably be super entertained...And now I'm going to hell.

Night Drives

In case you were wondering, driving down a street parallel with your cousin, both of you going 30mph with the windows down and blasting the same radio station, is the perfect summer night.

The Best of Friends

I spent 4 hours watching "Friends" on a laptop in Kelsey's new apartment today with Kelsey (duh), her roommate Becca, one of Becca's friends, and Emily. I had forgotten how primo season 2 is. The lobster/Prom video episode, Rachel and Ross bone in the museum, Chandler's new roommate Eddie, TOM SELLECK!, Dr. Drake Ramoray...Jeez. Anyway, it was a lovely morning/afternoon with friends watching "Friends". Here's the season 2 blooper reel to tide me over until I decide if I will be purchasing "The Best of 'Friends'" DVD.

Watching these, who ever thought Jennifer Aniston would become like, the sad-sack of all media? She's adorable!

Here's season 3's bloopers just for giggles:

I like the last part where Ross gets cereal dumped all over his junk.

Drizzle

I went to the beach house this week and played with my Hipstamatic app a lot. It was so gray and rainy all weekend that the manipulations the app makes aren't that exaggerated.

Crossing the Astoria Bridge

Beard's Hollow

View from friend's deck

From Amurrica to Europe

Now that the World Cup is over, where am I supposed to get my necessary daily Rx of sweaty, tan, cursing, neon spandex-wearing, and over-coiffed men?

From Europop, duh.

Here is a blog I just found out about that scouts the interwebs and European radio stations for the latest Europop hits. I spent like, 3 hours reading/watching the site.

Possibly my favorite (and I mean legit favorite, and not "favorite") is "Allez, Ola, Ole" by Jesse Matador, which was a contender for the Eurovision contest. It's really, really catchy and dance-able, and there are awesome outfits in the video.

My "fave" is this Swedish hit: "Peña Colada Boy" by Baby Alice. One of the lines is "And when the sun goes down you make my boobs feel round". Oh jeez, sign me up for more of Baby Alice and her lyrical masterpieces!

And here is a replacement for all the hot soccer boys you're now missing:

God bless Europe.

Amurrica

Friends, I spent this weekend taking advantage of all the freedoms granted to us Amurricans.

I went to the beach house with my whole extended family and spent most of the time tanning on the lawn/beach, walking various dogs, reading old copies of Vogue (articles about Sandra Bullock's perfect marriage are tearjerkers), painting my nails, watching really awesomely bad tv (You're Cut Off, Say Yes to the Dress), discussing our absent cousin's upcoming wedding, and eating. And eating. And eating. Pulled pork, bbq chicken, about 100 bowls of ice cream (I gave up giving up dairy for the weekend), lasagna, about 10 hot dogs...I won't embarrass myself by going into more detail. The only thing to rival my food consumption is my alcohol consumption, which began around 11 am on the 4th and ended around 8pm on the 6th. It's really quite wonderful to have a cousin who is a bartender.

My family is really, really, really into the 4th of July. It's hard to explain. We're not especially patriotic; it's more that we're really big fans of bar-be-ques and huge pyromaniacs. All of us are taught from an early age to love the scent of singed cardboard and the aroma of the Ground Blooming Flower. And, yes, we know all the names of the best fireworks. This year, our favorites included: Release the Beast, Peppermint Patty, Stegosaurus (green flames and dino noises), and Girl Power (2nd photo).

girl power: a zig a zag ahhhh

We went and watched the town firework show on the dunes and named each one as they went off. Some of the better name ideas went from the adorable: Cinderella's Castle, Lily of the Valley, Unicorn horn; to the obscene: Fire Crotch, Sex on the Beach, Taco Bell Food Poisoning. Then everybody came home and set off the aforementioned fireworks in the street for an hour. After that, all of us who are of age and/or morally pliable partook in a little booze-filled family bonding dance party in the backyard. The Olds just loved us the next morning. I haven't been yelled at like that by so many adult relatives since the 4th of July I was 11 and my cousins and I, without telling our parents, walked down to the apocalyptic scene that is the beach post-fireworks show. Oops. Anyway, after smoothing out some family rifts, we spent the day tanning at the beach because it was 73 and not windy, which is like, some kind of miracle. I even got a little tan!

Yesterday my cousin C and I stayed late to enjoy the sunshine and then road tripped back to 90 degree Portland blasting Patsy Cline and other classic Americana music, such as N*SYNC. The drive on Hwy 26 from the Peninsula to Portland is my favorite drive in the world; the sun filters through these huge trees and everything glows. And then, on a slightly deeper level than my love for hot dogs and Popsicles, I was thankful for Amurrica and all its wonders, from sea to shining sea. The end.

Summa Summa Summa tiiiiime

It's summer time, guys. The weather is finally nice, and I have been taking full advantage! Here's stuff I've been up to in the last few weeks:

Saw The Lion King with dad's side of the family. It was AMAZING! Mind was blown. Puppets!

Meow meow meow!

My cousins moved home from Brooklyn and Corvallis, and we've been cavorting around town together. We took my single aunts to dinner at Montage the other night and were rewarded with scandalous stories about our mothers' youths. And by scandalous, I mean pretty tame. But funny.

Dessert night with Em and Kels! Two words: brownie boat. Ok, three: yum.

Toy Story 3 with K, who brought along a bunch of girls from our high school class who she re-met at Yoga. It was weird, but fun. New old friends! I heard lots of gossip. We're doing happy hour next week. Ps. the movie is awesome. Maybe I cried a little.

WORLD CUP! My boss is foreign-born, and therefore legit knowledgeable of and way into soccer, so I get to watch early morning games with him in his back office. He tells me little stories about all the players and doesn't make fun of my interest in teams based upon their uniform colors. Win-win!

Picnic in Laurelhurst park with Kels and Em! There was LARP-ing. What is LARP-ing, you ask? Live-Action Role Playing. Except it wasn't medieval knights; it was a Jane Austen society. We quietly mocked them while secretly feeling jealous of their feathered hats. We also got to work on our tans; and by tans, I mean burns that will fade into some mildly golden, mostly freckled skin.

In the midst of all this fun stuff, there's also been work and internship, both of which are fun, but I won't bore you with deets.

I'm heading to the beach for 4th of July with my extended family, so I'm detoxing this week to prepare for the amazingness of a beach holiday with relatives. Drinks galore!

SUMMER!

Editorial Review

It's amazing what you can find on google image

I've been spending a lot of time at my internship, which I am kinda obsessed with. There are a lot of good things going on there for me: I'm getting experience and confirming that working with lit/the arts is what I want to do with my life. I'm reading some really mind-blowing submissions. I get to interact with very cool, passionate people who are mostly as nerdy and into reading stuff as I am. I get to "belong" to something, to have some sort of sense of community outside of my family and friends. It feels good to interact with a group of people for a common cause, because without even realizing it, that's something I've missed this year. Tonight we had an editorial meeting, and then we all went to get coffee. We got into a discussion about the necessity of the Oxford/Serial comma. For like 20 minutes. Yeah. I'm a little embarressed. But whatever! We're young and literary! Anyway, I promise they're all very normal, nice people. So lit mag is treating me well, and I'm excited to keep reading and being judgmental about authors' tense confusion and split infinitives.

Oregon Trail

After many miles of metaphorical diphtheria, coxing the wagon, and shooting birds, my little pioneers are close to returning to the promised land: Oregon. They had to throw out several boxes of bullets and foodstuffs between Missouri and here, but they've survived! Lots of family and friends are coming home for summer/forever, and I'm stoked! I'm especially excited for my cousins E and C to be here--adventures here we come! They are very silly and enjoy boardgames and the Gidget series as much as me, so it should be a good summer. C is back after 5 years in Brooklyn, and E is here for the summer between graduating and starting a teaching job on an army base in Brussels. Or Bruxelles. Whichever you prefer.

Pretty much the entire East Coast is making the migration out west this summer: L & MDawg from NYC, two friends from DC, one from Connecticut, one from Louisiana, and one from Georgia (not Paula Deene. Dream!). I can't wait to have you all back in the land of plenty, taking manifest destiny by the reigns, tending your tracts of land. Jettison your extra clothes if the oxen are slowing down, but for god's sake, don't take any rest days!